“20 Ways to Fall in Love All Over Again”

Bring back the passion from the early days of your relationship with these expert tips.

REIGNITE YOUR SPARK: There are lots of great things about being in a long-term relationship: Research shows that happy couples, in many ways, have better health and overall well-being than their single or divorced peers. After all, a loving partner can offer companionship, comfort, and physical and emotional support when you need it. But after years of marriage or dating, a significant other can start to feel more like a roommate than a romantic partner. Maybe you’ve grown apart, you’re busy with work and kids, or the sparks just not there anymore. For whatever reason you’ve found yourself falling out of love, well, here’s how the experts suggest you find your way back in.

BE MORE TOUCHY-FEELY: “Long-term couples don’t touch enough,” says Wendy Walsh, clinical psychologist and founder of AskALoveGuru.Com, a site that matches relationship therapists with potential clients. “When we touch—especially skin-to-skin—we get a little rush of the brain chemicals that help trigger those loving feelings.” Think about how often you and your partner actually share physical contact on a daily basis. If it’s just a quick peck on the lips before and after work, make an effort to step up your game, says Walsh. She cites research showing that a 20-second hug can trigger a significant oxytocin release. “Most married couples hug for three seconds or less,” she says. “So I advise them, two to three times a day, to stop what they’re doing and hold a long, calm embrace. It can change your biochemistry, and you’ll begin to bond again.“

SLEEP CLOSER TOGETHER: That same rush of brain chemicals can also come from physical contact in bed—and not just during sex, either. Sleeping skin-to-skin, whether it’s full-on spooning or even just touching toes, can have relationship benefits, too. In fact, a 2014 survey presented at the Edinburgh International Science Festival found that couples who slept the closest to each other reported having more relationship satisfaction. “Of course we don’t know if sleeping apart causes dissatisfaction or if happier couples simply sleep closer, but why not just try to get closer and see if it helps?” says Walsh. “Get the toddler or the dog out of the bed and try snuggling for at least a few minutes.“

LIMIT TECHNOLOGY: “If you haven’t put your family and your relationship on a technology diet yet, this is the year to do it,” says Walsh. “Nothing is killing communication faster right now than guys staring at their iPhones while girls are trying to talk to them at the dinner table, or vice versa.” Science supports her claim, too: In a 2014 Brigham Young University survey of heterosexual women, 70% felt that smartphones and other devices were interfering with their love lives. Walsh recommends forming an agreement with your partner to cut out phones and television at mealtimes and in the bedroom, or deciding together about specific times you will and will not use technology. “Otherwise, you won’t give each other your full attention, and it’s easy to become annoyed or feel disconnected.“

TAKE A VACATION: If work and family obligations have forced you and your partner to put your love life on the back burner, schedule some time off from your regular responsibilities. Getting away may help you focus on each other (instead of distractions like the bathroom that needs repairs), but even a staycation or a long weekend at home—if you treat it right—can be enough to refresh your bond. Before you go, though, have an honest conversation about your expectations, says Alexandra Solomon, licensed clinical therapist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University. “It’s important to discuss how much time you’ll spend together, whether you want to have more sex than usual, and what you hope to accomplish in terms of your relationship,” she says. “It can feel unromantic to lay it out ahead of time, but it will reduce your chances of feeling disappointed if you both have different goals in mind.“

SAY THANK YOU: When you fall into habits in a relationship, you may take for granted the nice things your partner routinely does for you. And even if you do notice them, do you let him or her know you’re thankful? Gratitude is important, says Walsh. “Put a note in his briefcase letting him know you appreciate that he gets the dry cleaning every week,” she says, “or touch her on the arm and thank her for bringing you Starbucks every day.” Solomon suggests keeping a gratitude journal, and writing down three things every day you’re thankful for—whether it’s related to your relationship or not. “It can foster a sense of well-being and openness that can improve your connection with your partner.“

PUCKER UP: Locking lips can play an important role in the quality of a long-term relationship, according to a 2013 study from Oxford University. In fact, researchers found that frequent kissing was even more important to relationship satisfaction than frequent sex. “A 30-second kiss gives us a warm, fuzzy, safe bonding feeling from that cuddle hormone, oxytocin,” says Bonnie Eaker Weil, relationship counselor and author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up. “Partners can give this feeling to each other by practicing a hug and a kiss—a mini connection—in the morning before work and before bed at night.“

COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER: When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s easy to focus on the negative, says Walsh—which can lead to nagging, hurt feelings, and dissatisfaction on both sides. Instead, she says, try to focus more on the good things and less on the bad. “To use a garden analogy, water what you want to grow; don’t water the weeds.” Letting your partner know what you love about them—whether it’s physical, intellectual, or emotional—can actually help you see him or her in a more positive light, says Solomon. “When I have couples in therapy who are growing apart, I make sure they start our time together by sharing some compliments back and forth.“

INCORPORATE SURPRISE: To relive the feeling of falling in love, says Eaker Weil, you’ve got to find new ways to trigger that rush of feel-good dopamine and oxytocin—like by incorporating novelty, excitement, and surprise into your not-so-new-anymore relationship. You may try “kidnapping” each other, she suggests, taking turns on different weekends to plan secret activity or destinations. Or try something simpler: “Date night but with something new—a new restaurant, or even new food at the same restaurant,” she says. “A weekend overnight in a new place, or a vacation without children; anything with the element of surprise.“

CULTIVATE YOUR OWN INTERESTS: Falling in love with someone isn’t all about what happens when you’re together; a lot of it has to do with what you’re doing on your own, says Solomon. “People become passive in their relationships when they become disengaged, and one of the main reasons they become disengaged is because they’re not satisfied with their own lives.” That’s why she encourages clients to make sure their lives contain something they feel passionate about individually—something their partner doesn’t necessarily share. “Say you love horseback riding,” she says. “If you come home from a ride feeling energetic and alive, you can bring a fuller, more engaged self to your relationship, as well.“

OBSERVE YOUR PARTNER’S PASSIONS: Likewise, Solomon says, it’s important for your partner to have a passion, as well. And if you want to remember why you fell in love in the first place, find a way to witness your loved one in his or her most passionate state. “I have a friend who’s married to a fisherman, and while she’ll never share his love for fishing, she’s happy to navigate his boat and just honor his talent and watch him in his element,” says Solomon. “She gets to see him being alive and excited, and that’s really the best way to see your partner.“

CREATE SOMETHING TOGETHER: Once you’ve got your individual passions figured out, it’s also helpful to have something you can both pour your love and attention into. “The couples who last the longest tend to be the ones who create something together,” says Walsh. Often that something is children, she adds, but it can also be a business, a charity, or even a home-remodeling project. “Look for something you are both interested in—not just something you’re into and you think your spouse can get on board with,” she says. “When you work together on something you care about, you can see your partner in a different light.“

GO ON DOUBLE DATES: You don’t need to spend all of your couple time one-on-one. In fact, inviting friends along once and a while can help you and your partner reaffirm your love for each other. In a 2014 Wayne State University study, people who went on double dates with other couples they were close with said they felt more affection and romantic feelings toward their partners. It turns out that watching your other half interact with friends can help you remember what you love about him or her, say the study authors—and praising each other in front of other people (bragging about her new promotion, or telling stories about what a good cook he is) can be a turn-on for both of you, too.

STARE INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES: In 1997, psychologist Arthur Aron published a study suggesting that any two people could fall in love by asking each other a series of 36 questions, then staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes. In January, writer Mandy Len Catron wrote in the New York Times about trying the experiment herself with a former college acquaintance. “I’ve skied steep slopes and hung from a rock face by a short length of rope, but staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life,” Len Catron wrote in the newspaper’s Modern Love column. There’s no guarantee Aron’s method will work for everyone, but it did for her—she and her test subject soon fell in love.

FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER: Staying happy in a long-term relationship requires balancing two basic needs, according to Solomon: “We crave security and knowing somebody’s got our backs no matter what, but we also crave excitement and novelty and mystery,” she says. “The challenge is trying to have both of those things met by the same person—and one way couples can do that is by flirting with each other like they’ve just met.” Flirting can be different for every couple, but anything affectionate, sexually suggestive, or playful can fit the bill. And while it may feel awkward to send an inappropriate text to the person you’ve been married to for years, it can help add excitement to a romance that feels stalled, says Solomon. “The key is finding a way to do it so you both feel comfortable and you’re having fun.“

WORK OUT TOGETHER: Breaking a sweat with your sweetie may increase your physical attraction, as well as your emotional bond. Research has found that after being physically active together, couples reported more relationship satisfaction and being more in love with their partners—and that physical arousal (elevated heart rate, heavy breathing, etc.) can often elicit romantic attraction. Eaker Weil recommends hitting the gym together, or finding a class or activity you can both enjoy. “It could be dancing or Jujitsu—anything that involves high energy play can cause a rush, and bonding toward your partner.“

ENGAGE IN PILLOW TALK: In 2013, University of Connecticut research found that couples who disclosed positive feelings to each other after sex reported more relationship satisfaction than those who didn’t. This may be part of the way committed couples maintain their closeness and their romantic bond, the researchers say. For an even better relationship boost, spend a few extra minutes after sex chatting and snuggling. Couples who engaged in post-sex affection (such as cuddling and caressing) during a 2014 University of Toronto study were generally happier with their sex lives and relationships overall, even three months later. “The findings suggest that the period after sex is a critical time for promoting satisfaction in intimate bonds,” the authors wrote.

DON’T PLAY GAMES: If you’re feeling distant from your partner, you may think that putting on a sexy dress or doubling up on your sessions in the weight-room is the best way to get his or her attention and jump-start your flagging romance. And that may work—but it could also backfire: “If he or she doesn’t read your mind or notice that you’re trying to impress him or her, you could end up feeling worse and resentful,” says Solomon. Instead, Solomon suggests sitting down to talk honestly about how you feel. “Say something like, ‘I don’t feel particularly connected to you right now, and I have some thoughts about what I’d like to do differently to make us feel closer,’” she says. “That way, it’s less of a test that your partner passes or fails—you’re in it together, and you’re both making an effort.”

REDEFINE DATE NIGHT: Scheduling regular time to be by yourselves as a couple, away from your work and home responsibilities, can help you stay connected and remember what you love about each other. But that doesn’t have to mean getting all dressed up and going out to a fancy dinner—it can be as simple as taking a walk together every night and discussing your day. “Going on a date can be the time you look at your partner not as a co-parent or a co-homeowner, but as the person you built your life with,” says Solomon. But couples should decide what’s romantic to them, she adds. “It doesn’t have to look like an episode of The Bachelor, with high heels and candles and roses. For some people it looks like Subway sandwiches on the beach, and for some people it looks like sitting at Barnes and Noble playing chess.“

BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER: A 2009 study from Stony Brook University found that, contrary to popular belief, it is possible to be in a long-term relationship and maintain feelings of romantic love (and not just comfortable companionship) for many years. One secret to this lasting attraction? Having your partner’s back, and knowing that your partner also has yours. Adults who feel secure in their relationships tend to have higher self-esteem, the study found, which correlates to more feelings of “intense, exclusive focus” on their partners. “Thus, having the felt security that a partner is ‘there for you,’ not only makes for a smooth functioning relationship, but also may facilitate feelings of romantic love,” the authors wrote.

ADJUST YOUR EXPECTATIONS: Even with all of these tips, says Walsh, no relationship will be perfect—and that’s the most important thing to remember if you’re feeling dissatisfied with your love life. “We live in such a sexualized culture, people come in thinking something’s missing if they’re not having 50 Shades of Grey sex and swinging from the chandeliers,” she says. Before you decide your romance isn’t good enough, she says, remember that all long-term unions have ups and downs, and that love can be felt and expressed in many different ways. “A lot of people end up in therapy because their expectations don’t match the reality of their life, and they’re hoping to change their environment,” Walsh says. “Sometimes, what they really need to change is their outlook.“

Amanda MacMillan, Health, March 04, 2015

“Don’t just tell me you love me. I want it to be so visible that for a second, I almost think I can touch it.” (Author Unknown)

“You know you’ve found true love when you catch yourself falling in love with the same person over and over again.” (Dr. Steve Maraboli)

“We fall in love by Chance. We stay in love by Choice.” (Author Unknown)

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” (Mignon McLaughlin)

“We can get so busy taking care of Life that we forget to take care of Love.” (Sharon Jaynes)

“Marriage doesn’t guarantee you will be together forever, it’s only paper. It takes love, respect, trust, understanding, friendship, and faith in your relationship to make it last.” (Author Unknown)

“Remember to kiss your spouse goodnight, regardless of the day’s events.” (Author Unknown)

“If you want a relationship that looks and feels like the most amazing thing on earth, you need to treat it like it is the most amazing thing on earth.” (Author Unknown)

“You don’t have to break the bank to enjoy time with your mate. Plan a regular night each week that you can call a date night. Our monthly budget is $100. Once a month, we go to a nicer restaurant. The other three weeks, we hit up fast-food places. We just make a point to have time alone. It is always very refreshing.” (Making Love Work)

“7 Signs of a Healthy Marriage: unconditional commitment; consistent communication; honest transparency; passionate intimacy; mutual respect; frequent laughter; limitless love.” (Dave Willis)

“A man can overcome any obstacle and accomplish any goal if he believes his wife believes in him.” (Dave Willis)

“Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the ‘currency’ of relationships, so consistently invest time into your marriage.”

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWordFeel free to also join us at: http://www.selfcarewithdrshermaine.blogspot.com Today’s Lesson: “What to Know About Bananas?”

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“How to HEAL a BROKEN Christmas”

With having had two teenage boys who loved football, there was one Christmas gift that was a sure hit – a new leather football! And seeing how it was a rare 60-degree Christmas morning, do you think the guys were going to just sit around the Christmas tree and admire that ball? Absolutely not! They went right outside and did what you’re supposed to do with a football! Play Football!

Here they were, Pastor Ron and his boys – the three men of the house – running quickly out of the house, out into the middle of the street, passing that football back and forth. 

Then it happened…Pastor Ron went back for a long one; the pass was heading straight to him! And he caught it! However, he caught it right on the end of his little finger! The emergency room? Yeah, that’s not exactly where you want to spend a huge chunk of your Christmas time, but that’s exactly where Pastor Ron was, and with a special souvenir of that Christmas – a broken finger! I believe Pastor Ron will agree; it’s no fun having something Broken, especially  during Christmas!

And it’s far worse, if what’s broken is a relationship you really care about, or your family is broken, or your heart is broken, your joy is broken, your peace is broken, your trust has been broken, your loyalty has been broken. In fact, all the “joy to the world” around you just seems to make the hurt even worse! And often the Christmas Season has a tendency to bring painful reminders of the things and people that have hurt us the most, and broken us to pieces! A mother who walked away and never came back; a father who passed away; a marriage that ended; a child that left home; a doctor’s sad report; the loss of a job after 20 years; the senseless loss of a friends life; a relationship that’s beyond repair…and the list could go on forever. 

Well, you need to know that the One whose ‘birthday’ we’re celebrating knows about what’s broken and He knows how much it’s hurting you. He cares about that pain, He cares about your loneliness, and more importantly, He truly understands!


Remember, this Jesus who we celebrate this Christmas was, in the words of the Bible, a “man of sorrows and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3). The Amplified Bible says it like this: “He was despised and rejected and forsaken by men, a Man of sorrows and pains, and acquainted with grief and sickness; and like One from Whom men hide their faces He was despised, and we did not appreciate His worth or have any esteem for Him.” (AMP) The Contemporary English Bible says it like this: “He was hated and rejected; his life was filled with sorrow and terrible suffering. No one wanted to look at him. We despised him and said, “He is a nobody!” (CEB)

JESUS was misunderstood, despised, rejected, forsaken, hated, filled with sorrows, pain, grief, sickness and terrible suffering, abandoned, betrayed, falsely accused, and even mocked, spat upon, pierced and put to death! So, in case you feel as if no one knows how you feel; no one can identify with your brokenness, rest assured, JESUS KNOWS, JESUS CARES AND JESUS UNDERSTANDS!

While everyone around you may be celebrating and totally unaware of how you’re hurting, please know that Jesus is moving close to you today, and He wants to do something very powerful for you this Christmas…And That’s to Heal What’s Broken!

I know this may sound like a depressing devotional, however, believe it or not, far too many are dreading this Christmas! Truth is, someone, somewhere will cry this Christmas, will be alone this Christmas, will feel left, rejected and abandoned this Christmas. Someone will commit suicide this Christmas. Someone will throw in the towel on life for good this Christmas. Someone, somewhere is wondering “what do I have to celebrate this Christmas?…he left me…she doesn’t love me…he died…she’s sick…what could I possibly have to celebrate?”

That’s why I think He’s led me to remind someone today: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). 

For further encouragement, let’s look at that same Scripture in various translations:


“The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope.” (GNT); 

“The Lord is there to rescue all who are discouraged and have given up hope.” (CEV); 

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” (NCV). 



However, my favorite is: “If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” (MSG) 

In your brokenness is where you’ll find God right there! Now that’s encouragement! Because most people don’t want to be around someone who’s broken. Why? Because they know it will only be a time of tears, complaining, sob stories, self-pity parties, retelling of the same hurtful scripts over and over again. They know it will be a time spent in sorrow, pain, regret, hurt, rejection, and ‘why me’? chants. Who wants to hang around that, especially during the holidays? But Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother! He could care less about any of that, He’s not leaving your side, nor is He turning a deaf ear to you, nor will He leave you there broken. After all, He is the mender of broken hearts! So, wherever you find yourself broken today, know that Jesus is Right There, even if no one else is! You my friend are on the verge of being mended!

The second part of that says this: “…if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” Truth is, life can hit you so hard it makes you double over in pain, with the breath knocked right out of you! But isn’t it awesome how God is ever present to give you your second wind?! That term ‘second wind’, has a few definitions but the one I’ll use here is, “a new strength or energy to continue something that is an effort.’ When God gives you a second wind it’s ‘new strength and energy to continue something that is an effort.’ And let’s be honest, trying to recover from brokenness takes effort! Pain and hurt has a way of weakening you to such a state that if God doesn’t supply the strength, you’ll never bounce back! Which is why sharing our weakness with God and waiting on His strength is so vital! 2 Corinthians 12:9, “but He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough—always available—regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.” (AMP) See, your weakness can’t destroy His strength, in fact, it’s what supplies it to you and for you! So be encouraged today, God is Right There and He’s Supplying You With Strength and a Second Wind, You Shall Recover, You Shall Bounce Back, You Shall Heal!


JESUS LOVES YOU; HE CARES THAT YOU’RE HURTING; HE’S THERE AND WANTS TO HELP HEAL YOUR BROKENNESS…ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS…LET HIM!

“Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, ACCEPT THE HELP” (Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG). The word ‘accept’ is defined as, ‘to agree to receive or undertake something offered or proposed; to regard favorably or with approval.’ Its Latin origin ‘acceptare’, from ‘capere’, literally means ‘to take.’ People of God, it’s not that God hasn’t offered His help, the problem is we haven’t accepted it! Which makes absolutely no sense, since the word itself means ‘to take’! Therefore, today, Take the help God is offering to heal you and help you mend every broken area of your life. Don’t Focus so much on your Hurt that you lose Sight of His Help!

In Isaiah 61:1, the Son of God says, “The Lord has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted.” The Amplified Bible says it like this: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound”

HE REALLY IS THE FIXER OF BROKEN HEARTS, AND BROKEN LIVES, AND BROKEN PEOPLE! How do I know? THE WORD OF GOD SAID SO, AND THE WORD OF GOD CAN’T LIE!

So if this Christmas Your Battling With Brokenness, Simply Lean On the One Who Has Been Charged to Bind Up the Brokenhearted…His Names Is JESUS!
Let Him Mend You and Make You Whole Again! After all, isn’t that a part of the Reason we celebrate Him this Season? The Son of God Coming to Seek and Save; Heal and Deliver? Surely this season has to mean more than trees, tinsel, lights, Santa, candy canes, egg nog, and gifts? After all, this season is the celebration of the ONLY ONE who Sacrificed His life so He could grant us Eternal Life. Surely LIFE that grants an ETERNAL GIFT means more than standing in LINES that grant only a TEMPORARY ONE?! Christmas is more than pretty wrapped boxes with bows, it’s a time to remember the Christ Who was Broken to Mend the Broken. No matter what sale/discount you receive at the store; nothing will ever be able to equal that value/worth! 

Psalm 147:3, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [healing their pain and comforting their sorrow].” (AMP) I know what happened may have broken your heart, but don’t let it stop it from beating! God is there ready and willing to heal the brokenhearted and to bind up their wounds; to heal their pain and comfort their sorrow, so why suffer in silence, when His arms are open wide; His eyes are focused on you; His ears are open to your voice; His heart is filled with unconditional love for you; and He simply cannot wait to heal every ounce of your brokenness!

Remember: No Matter What Is Broken, Where It Broke, How Long and How Bad It’s Been Broken, Why It Broke, When It Broke or Who Broke It…He Can…and He Will Bind the Broken…Just Trust Him and Accept His Help to Heal! And this Broken Christmas May Just Prove to be Your Very Best Christmas Yet!

Remember the REASON not the RECEIPTS of This Christmas! He Came to Save, and that Includes Saving You from Suffering the Pain of Remaining Broken! Be Healed Today, Be Well Today, Be Happy Today, Be Made Whole Today!




“Christianity is the only hope for this broken world because there’s no other way for the broken to get the nails they need to rebuild.” (Author Unknown)
“Jesus came to heal everything in your life that’s broken and to restore everything the enemy has taken.” (Joyce Meyer)
“Broken things and broken people are the result of sin. Yet God sent His Son to be broken that we might be healed.” (Author Unknown)

“Lord, enlighten what’s dark in me; strengthen what’s weak in me; mend what’s broken in me; bind what’s bruised in me; heal what’s sick in me and lastly revive whatever peace and love has died in me.” (Author Unknown)

“God can heal a broken heart. But you need to give Him all the pieces.” (Author Unknown)

“God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume. It is Peter, weeping bitterly, who returns to greater power than ever.” (Vance Havner)

“Its so much easier to let God heal your broken heart than trying to do it in your own ability and strength. It’s not your job. Jesus is the healer of broken hearts.” (Author Unknown)

“God’s Healing Hand: If you have a mountain of pain before you or you’re lost in a cold valley of shadowy doubt, know that God’s healing hand is there to mend your broken heart and an angel’s smile is always looking over your shoulder to guide you with heavenly hope” (Robert Clancy)

“God knows the burdens you carry and the tears you shed. He is the healer of broken hearts, broken dreams, and broken lives. Trust Him. He never fails.” (Pastor John Hagee)

“Not to Self: Healing is NOT an overnight process. It takes time. Sometimes you’ll feel like you’re finally over something and happy again, and then unexpectedly the wound will reopen. But don’t give up and don’t get discouraged. Take each day one step at a time. Just try to be in a better place mentally and emotionally than you were yesterday.” (Author Unknown)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWordFeel free to also join us at: http://www.selfcarewithdrshermaine.blogspot.com Today’s Lesson: “14 Holiday Health Hazards to Avoid”

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“When God Speaks to Men”

Professor Sheringham is on the road a lot, so the phone in his hotel room is a very important tool, (especially when he’s in those areas when he doesn’t have a cellphone signal). But years ago, even before cell phones, (if you dare to believe there was such a time), it was even more frustrating for Professor Sheringham. One time in particular he shared with us his students. He was staying in this campus guest room provided by the school where he was lecturing. Now, he appreciated the room; he just didn’t appreciate the phone. The problem? He couldn’t call out, not even collect or with a credit card! You see, the school had programmed the phone so it blocked any outgoing calls, because he guessed they didn’t want to get stuck with long distance bills.

However, for him it was absolutely frustrating! Especially early in the morning or late at night when he wasn’t dressed and couldn’t easily get down to the public phone seven floors down in the “good old days.” Well, one morning they were in the middle of something that required daily communication with his office, and he literally prayed that someone from his team would call and deliver him from this one-way telephone prison. And God answered the prayer – they did call. Then they called the people that he needed to hear from. In essence, he could receive calls; he just couldn’t initiate them. So he was stuck being able to talk only when someone wanted to talk to him! I guess it was too bad if he wanted to talk to them!

From his experience he then taught our class from 1 Samuel 3:8-10. It was a time right at the beginning of Samuel’s life as he is a young man staying with the priest, Eli. And it says this, “God called again, “Samuel!” – the third time! Yet again Samuel got up and went to Eli, “Yes? I heard you call me. Here I am.” That’s when it dawned on Eli that God was calling the boy. So Eli directed Samuel, “Go back and lie down. If the voice calls again, say, ‘Speak, God. I’m your servant, READY TO LISTEN.” Samuel returned to his bed. Then God came and stood before him exactly as before, calling out, “Samuel! Samuel!” Samuel answered, “Speak. I’m your servant, READY TO LISTEN.” (MSG)

See, God wanted to talk to Samuel, but He had a little difficulty getting the call through. He had to dial three times after all. Likewise, God has some things He’d like to say to you about your future, your pain, your questions, the decisions you need to make, the struggle you’re going through. But maybe there’s just a one-way phone most of the time. Oh, you’re calling God whenever you feel like it (or feel you need to). You’re talking about whatever is on your mind. But maybe you’re not allowing much opportunity for God to whisper something quietly to your soul.

1 Kings 19:11-14, “Then he was told, “Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.” A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire A GENTLE AND QUIET WHISPER. When Elijah HEARD the QUIET VOICE, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A QUIET VOICE asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?” Elijah said it again, “I’ve been working my heart out for God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, because the people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed your places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.” (MSG)

Elijah only heard the quiet whisper of  a voice because he was listening. Which means there will be times when you have to ignore the distractions of the “hurricane wind…shattered rocks…earthquake…and fire”! Sometimes hearing God means you will have to make the deliberate decision to block anyone, any thing and any place out that would distract you from Hearing Him! The Bible says, “…Elijah Heard the Quiet Voice…” Do you hear it too, or are you too busy being distracted by your own voice or that of others?

Remember: He wants prayer to be a dialogue, not a monologue.

The dangerous problem is that we unfortunately rewrite this verse to say, “Listen Lord. Your servant is speaking.” Oh, and make no mistake about it, He does. He listens. We initiate a call to God, we say what we want to say and hang up. But we miss so much when we don’t allow God to call us with important things that He wants to show us.

Jeremiah 33:2-3, “This is God’s Message…’Call to Me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” (MSG)

But unfortunate for us, we call God, tell Him what we want to, then hang up!

Imagine if we did this in other areas of our lives: For instance, what would happen if you called the fire department, told them there’s a fire, then hung up? What would happen if you called the police department, told them there’s a robbery, then hung up? How about your child calling you and telling you they’re in danger, then they hang up? None of these scenario’s would end very well. You’re on the phone with people who you’ve got to talk to AND listen to if help is to be reached!

But instead, we call God and say, “Lord, help me meet the mortgage this month; how am I going to pay tuition at these new rates; how am I supposed to put these 3 children through college when they’re stair-steps in age; what am I going to do when this last check runs out? Lord, my marriage is letting go of the last string it had to hold onto, what now? Lord, I went to the doctor for that, and now they say I’ve got this too, what’s going on? God, I give my full tithe, and yet my financial future is looking more and more empty. God, I can’t get this weight off; God I’m tired of being single; God when will we have a baby? God, will I ever get this promotion? God, when can I open the church, start the business, have peace of mind?!”

We talk to God only to tell Him to, “fix it God; heal it God; save it God; deliver it God; promote it God; protect it God; provide for it God; send him/her God; close that door God; open that door God; forgive me God; punish them God…” And our ‘to-do-list’ for God goes on and on and on!

But when do we take the deliberate, undisturbed time to listen to God?

Samuel said, “…Speak. I’m your servant, READY TO LISTEN.” (MSG) Are you just as READY TO LISTEN? The word ‘ready’ is defined as ‘prepared for an activity or situation; made suitable and available for immediate use; easily obtained; within reach; willing to do or having a desire for; quick; prompt; prepared mentally or physically for some experience or action’ So, I ask again, are you READY TO LISTEN? Have you entered into prayer prepared to listen to God? Are you within reach of God’s voice, or is His voice muffled by all the other voices vying for your attention? Do you even have a desire to hear God speak? Are you mentally, physically and spiritually prepared for an experience with God? Are you ready, quick and prompt, or are you hesitating, procrastinating, dragging, slothful, and lazy in your approach to God? Have you made yourself suitable and available for God’s immediate use when He talks to you and tells you what He wants you to do?

Listen to Samuel again: “The Lord then stood beside Samuel and called out as He had done before, “Samuel, Samuel!” “I’M LISTENING,” Samuel answered. “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?” (vs.10 CEV) Is that your response to God? Or do you end your prayer with, “God, here’s what I want YOU to do!” There is a difference you know?

Brothers, you give your ear to many people throughout the day: Your spouse; your children; your family; your friends; your coworkers; your bosses; your church family; the news; sports; even the latest gossip (believe it or not, but men gossip too)…but are you giving your ear to God? Does He have your undivided attention? Do you take time to hear His voice? Just imagine the great things God wants to say to you, but you won’t LISTEN. You have a one-way calling system…you talk to God, He listens to you, you hang up!

But what happens when you install a new, two-way calling system? What happens when you have a two-way phone system from earth to heaven and heaven to earth? Well let’s see what verse 11 has to say, God said to him, “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears it tingle.” Let’s take a listen to a few translations:

“…Samuel, I am going to do something in Israel that will shock everyone who hears about it!” (CEV);

“…Listen carefully. I’m getting ready to do something in Israel that is going to shake everyone up and get their attention.” (MSG)

God is about to tell Samuel about something BIG He’s getting ready to do in Israel, and when it is heard, it will shock people, shake people and get everyone’s attention! And all Samuel has to do is LISTEN! Samuel is getting insider information because he’s attentive enough to LISTEN…are you? I mean, this is about to be some exciting news! Likewise, God wants to show you some amazing things, but you have to stop talking to hear Him tell you what they are! Samuel let’s God know, “I’m listening, I’m paying attention, speak Lord, talk to me, share with me the great things You’re about to do!” Have you positioned yourself in like manner?

LISTEN: When you pray about something, allow some silent time at the beginning and at the end. Allow a space where God could call you. You won’t always hear an audible voice like Samuel; that’s not needed so much today when God lives inside His children through the Holy Spirit. But He’ll speak to you as you meditate on a verse of Scripture. He’ll light up your situation suddenly with a personal application of those words or maybe as you’re praying. As for me, I tend to trust the ideas or the insights that come into my mind while I’m talking to God about an issue, when I’ve turned off everything else, not looking at my cell phone, not responding to texts, not listening to the radio, not watching TV, nothing else around, and I’m just listening to God solo – to let Him say something to my soul. I can trust pretty much what I hear then, and so can you.

As a man, you need to listen for what God tells you to do concerning your family, health, finances, schooling, church, personal salvation, and deliverance. You need to hear what He has to tell you about raising sons and daughters, about loving your own, one wife. You need to hear what He has to tell you about being effective in your church, your community or even as you rise on the corporate ladder. You need to hear what He has to tell you to tell another brother, as iron still sharpens iron. You have to hear what He has to tell you about leading and following; and spear-heading; working solo and a part of the team. You have to hear what God needs to tell you about your ministry, anointing, and gifts. You have to hear God’s instructions concerning your every assignment, the ones to take and the ones to leave. You have to hear God clearly say, ‘she’s the one!’ You have to hear God say, ‘save this; spend that; invest there.’

You will never be a man with an effective vision who has impaired hearing to God’s voice!

You need to hear God when He tells you, ‘sign that contract; get out of that contract; lay hands on that building; go to that dealership; that’s the school; that’s the job; go to this doctor; see that specialist; start now; stop now; wait now; not now.’

John 10:27, “…My sheep RECOGNIZE my voice. I know them, and they follow Me…” (MSG)

Do you recognize God’s voice? Do you know God’s voice? Do you follow God’s voice? The word ‘recognize’ is defined as, ‘to identify; to acknowledge the validity and legality of to show official appreciation of.” Its Latin Origin ‘recognoscere’, from ‘cognoscere’ literally means ‘to learn.’ You need to learn how to recognize God’s voice, and the best way to do that is to make it a daily habit of listening to it! For example, I’ve been with my husband over 20 years, married 19. That’s a lot of time to spend talking to and listening to this one person’s voice! Now, we both have family members, jobs and church responsibilities in leading people, so we both hear varying voices every day. However, we’ve spent so much time with one another in a personal, intimate, and focused manner, that even in the midst of a crowded, talkative bunch, we can recognize each other’s voices without having to turn around! But that took years, of talking, listening, and arguing to develop! It took time, so much time, that now we can have a full conversation in the middle of folks without saying a single word to each other! You see, when you invest time into the communication of your relationship, and yes, in your relationship with God as well, there’s a depth that grows from such nourishment. It develops level by level. You learn to become more familiar with the person and the voice, even with the things that are being communicated in a non-verbal manner. But you’ve got to invest in the communication if you want to reap the benefits from such an investment!

We spend a lot of time in prayer only to talk to God, but there’s much God wants to say to us as well, if only we’d listen. Jesus said, My sheep Recognize My Voice, they Know My voice, they Follow My voice. If you take the time to recognize, know and follow the voice of God, you’ll stop following your own voice as well as that of others. Truth is, many of us will listen to family and friends before we listen to the Father. This should not be so! Just think, your God, your Father, the one who has created all things, wants to talk to YOU! Now, if President Obama called you up and asked to speak with you, you’d be all ears! But God, who is more important wants to talk to you, and you have to check your schedule to see if you have time (unless of course you’re experiencing trouble)…

Brothers, communication with God has to become as vital to you as breathing. Not just talking to Him, but listening to Him. What does He want you to do? Where does He want you to go? Who does He want you to take? When are you supposed to go? How are you supposed to go? God desires to give you guidance and direction, but you have to listen first! Imagine if you listened to God the way you listen to your GPS when you’re trying to figure out where you’re going or where you are. You pay attention to every detail, you turn down the radio just in case there’s an unforeseen turn up ahead…but when God speaks, we have selective hearing!

Listen: I know the frustration of just receiving information without being able to send any, and so does God. If your heaven-link phone has only been calling out, why not try Samuel’s prayer every new day, “Speak Lord. Your servant is LISTENING.” It’s important that God receives calls from you; however, it’s much more important that you get those calls from God!

Brothers, you can’t pass on God’s Voice through God’s Word to the next generation of boys to men, if you don’t listen and receive it for yourself first. And truth is, there’s some young boys in sports and school, young men in the military, brothers in the neighborhood, at work, in church and even standing on the street corner that need you to hear God so they can hear God when you speak! There are men in the barbershop getting their hair cut right next to you, and he needs a word so bad from God that he doesn’t know what to do. What if you were praying and listening for God before you ever left the house. What if God would’ve revealed to you the word of encouragement that that man needed at just the right time. You could’ve literally been apart of a God team that turned that man’s entire world around for the better! What if you listened to God before you head to the mechanic, who knows what assignment God would issue to you while you’re there. What if you listened for God before going to work, who knows what word of life you could’ve spoken to that colleague that gets on your last nerves!

Men, God loves you and He listens to you. But if you love Him as much as you say you do, you will do likewise, listen! Why? Because listening to God keeps you from marrying the wrong woman; having kids at the wrong time; falling down every time a new temptation comes up; wasting money that you should be investing; attending the wrong school; applying for the wrong job; going to the wrong dealership; making the wrong friends; requesting a loan from the wrong bank; signing papers out of season; turning down the wrong block! Listening for God is your Privilege, your Protection and your Power! Don’t Discard It!

Your vision needs God’s voice; your family needs God’s voice; your ministry and church needs God’s voice; your business needs God’s voice; your children need God’s voice; your marriage needs God’s voice; your health needs God’s voice; your promotion needs God’s voice! Guidance, Direction and Wisdom all come from Listening to God’s voice, so are you listening?!

“Speak Lord. Your servant is LISTENING.”

“Prayer is not monologue, but dialogue; God’s voice is its most essential part. Listening to God’s voice is the secret of the assurance that He will listen to mine.” (Andy Murray)

“Prayer is not the answer. God is the answer. Prayer is the vehicle by which we reach God.” (Greg Laurie)

“When you pray be sure that you listen as well as talk. You have things you want to say to God, but He also has things He wants to say to you.” (Joyce Meyer)

“God want us to talk to Him as to a friend or father…authentically, reverently, personally, earnestly.” (Bill Hybels)

“There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.” (Simon Sinek)

“God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening, is the beginning of prayer.” (Mother Teresa)

“Not many were hearing from God. Not because God was not speaking. It was because the people were preoccupied with other things. We are very good at talking, but not so good at taking the time to wait on God’s presence and listen.” (Jeff Syverson)

“Prayer is not a ‘spare wheel’ that you pull out when in trouble. But it is a ‘steering wheel’ that directs the right path throughout.” (Daily Inspirational Quotes)

Proverbs 3:5-12, “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. LISTEN for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all…” (MSG)

Proverbs 12:15, “A fool thinks he needs no advice, but a wise man LISTENS…” (TLB);

Isaiah 30:21, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying, “This is the road! Now follow it.” (CEV);

Proverbs 28:9, “God has no use for the prayers of the people who won’t LISTEN to Him.” (MSG)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWord

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“Are You Giving God Your BEST?”

Jeremiah 48:10, “Cursed is the one who is HALFHEARTED in doing the Lord’s work…” (CEB)

If it’s one thing my mother hated, it was having asked someone to do something, and they do it, but do it, half-heartedly. The term “half-hearted” is defined as “without enthusiasm or determination; feeling or showing of little interest; to give lukewarm support to.”And what does God think about “lukewarm people“? Revelation 3:15-17, ‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold (invigorating, refreshing) nor hot (healing, therapeutic); I wish that you were cold or hot. So because you are lukewarm (SPIRITUALLY USELESS), and neither hot nor cold, I will vomit you out of My mouth [rejecting you with disgust]. Because you say, “I am rich, and have prospered and grown wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked [without hope and in great need],” (AMP) The Message Bible says it like this: “I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You’re not cold, you’re not hot—far better to be either cold or hot! You’re stale. You’re stagnant. You make me want to vomit. You brag, ‘I’m rich, I’ve got it made, I need nothing from anyone,’ oblivious that in fact you’re a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless.” (MSG)

So, do you still want to serve God halfheartedly and lukewarm?

Some of its adjectives are, “unenthusiastic, indifferent (‘having no particular interest, unconcerned, not particularly good, mediocre’. Its Latin Origin literally means ‘making no difference’), apathetic, cool, neutral (‘disengaged’), passive (‘accepting of anything without active response or resistance’), lackluster (‘lacking in vitality, force, or conviction; not shining, dull’), lukewarm, uninterested, perfunctory (‘carried out with a minimum of effort or reflection’. Its Latin Origin literally means ‘careless’), listless (‘lacking energy’), and spiritless (‘lacking courage, energy, or determination’).” Question: How do you give “spiritless” servitude to a God who is Spirit?! John 4:24, says, “GOD IS SPIRIT. Those who worship Him must worship Him in SPIRIT and in truth.” (NLV) I reiterate, how do you give “spiritless” servitude to THE Spirit, when you’re supposed to be led by His Spirit? Galatians 5:18, 25, “…But if ye be LED OF THE SPIRIT…IF WE LIVE IN THE SPIRIT, LET US ALSO WALK IN THE SPIRIT…” How do you give “spiritless” servitude to THE Spirit, when you’re supposed to be LED OF THE SPIRIT, LIVE IN THE SPIRIT AND WALK IN THE SPIRIT? Perhaps, if we stopped being so WHOLEHEARTEDLY led by the Flesh, living in the Flesh and walking in the Flesh, we could finally stop HALFHEARTEDLY serving in Spirit…Selah…

Let’s look at John 4:24 in a few translations:

“God is Spirit, and those who worship God MUST be led by the Spirit to worship him according to the truth.” (CEV) –  The word “MUST” is defined as “to be obligated to; should; expressing insistence on something that should not be overlooked or missed.”

“God is spirit, and it is NECESSARY to worship God in spirit and truth.” (CEB) – That word “NECESSARY” is defined as, “required to be done, needed, must be, inevitable, basic requirement”.

In essence, in our service, no matter what the form, when it is to God, it is a necessity to have it done wholeheartedly in the Spirit, something that should not be overlooked or missed because it is our basic requirement. God has always given us His absolute best, in fact He gave us His Heart (His Son, His Sons Blood, His Sons Life) so, how do we dare serve Him halfheartedly?

“It’s who you are and the way you live that count before God. Your worship must engage your spirit in the pursuit of truth. That’s the kind of people the Father is out looking for: those who are simply and honestly themselves before him in their worship. God is sheer being itself—Spirit. Those who worship him must do it out of their very being, their spirits, their true selves, in adoration.” (John 4:23-24 MSG) Nothing about that sounds fleshly or halfhearted!

There’s an interesting story that’s told about Queen Victoria. She loved being able to go out and be by herself, without being recognized, so she could mingle with ordinary people. And to keep from being noticed, the Queen would “dress down.” On one of her walks it began to rain, so she knocked on the door of this cottage and asked to borrow an umbrella. Well, not recognizing the Queen, the elderly woman who answered the door lent her a beat-up umbrella, instead of her best umbrella. She did that because she wasn’t sure she’d ever see the umbrella again of course. Well Queen Victoria left thanking the woman and promising to return the umbrella. The next day a royal messenger returned the lady’s umbrella. And he said to the woman, “The Queen asked me to return your umbrella.” The elderly woman was heard to say, “Oh, if I’d only known who it was, I would have given her my best.“

Listen to these sobering words, from our text in Jeremiah 48:10, “A curse” – oh, a curse – “A curse on him who is lax in doing the Lord’s work.” WARNING! Don’t be lax! Don’t be lazy! Don’t be careless in doing the work of God! Why? Because, THERE’S A CURSE PLACED ON ANYONE WHO IS! This is how strongly God feels about those who serve Him and His work in a half-hearted manner!

Various translations word it like this:

“Cursed is he who does the work of the Lord with SLACKNESS…” (ESV); – That word “slackness” is defined as “careless, lazy, negligent, reduced intensity, to decrease in effort.” Its Old English Origin literally means “inclined to be lazy”.

“Cursed is the one who does the work of the Lord NEGLIGENTLY…” (AMP); – That word “negligent” is defined as “lack of proper care and attention; breach of a duty of care which results in damage.”

“Curse those who do not do the Lord’s work with ALL THEIR HEART…” (GNT);

“SLOPPY WORK in God’s name is cursed…” (MSG); – That word “sloppy” is defined as “careless and unsystematic; weakly; foolishly.”

“A curse on anyone who is LAX in doing the Lord’s work…” (NIV); – That word “lax” is defined as “not sufficiently strict, severe, or careful.”

“The one who does the Lord’s work WITHOUT CARE is cursed…” (NLV);

In other words, God places a curse on anyone who serves Him and His work in a manner that is: SLACK, NEGLIGENT, HALF-HEARTED, SLOPPY, LAX or WITHOUT CARE! The work of the Kingdom means so much to God that He will place a curse on anyone who gives decreased effort, inclined to be lazy, lacks proper care and attention, foolish, weak, or careless in it! That ought to terrify many of us who have not been giving God our absolute best!

See, sometimes we give the Lord what’s easy for us to give Him, but the King deserves our best. Think about it: No one in their right mind would serve an earthly king dinner on paper plates, plastic silverware, bowls, cups and discount store napkins! Why not? Because that’s not what you serve a king! And certainly our KING is deserving of much better than any earthly king! Yet, we won’t serve an earthly king on paper and plastic, but our KING we serve with watered down worship; procrastinated praise; and perfunctory prayers! We bypass bible study and we’re so busy checking messages on our phones that we pay little or no attention to the Message coming through the microphone in the sanctuary! We sing songs with no emotions, and dance for show. How does God get any honor out of any of that? But we’re first to cry out “He’s Our King of Kings!” Well, if He truly is, than serve Him as a King should be served!

If truth be told, a lot of people are frequently lax doing the Lord’s work. That’s why a strong word is probably needed here. Some of us may have been financially lax with the Lord’s work; we’ve been careless with the money He’s provided for us. We’ve become careless in tithe and offering, careless in the benevolent offering, careless in the financial support of the work of the Lord. We’ve become undisciplined with our paychecks. When the truth is, you don’t need more money, you need to learn how to budget and properly manage the money He’s already provided you. Stop wishing for More when you’re wasteful with Less. Clearly there’s not been full integrity in the way funds have been taken care of. But money funds the work of the Lord. We can’t afford to be careless with it publicly or privately. In the House of the Lord or in our own personal Homes!

Another truth, some people are lax with their time. A lot of time gets wasted in the service of the Lord. Let’s be honest about it. We need to be doing every task as if it were a royal task, because it is.

Ephesians 6:5-8, “Servants, respectfully obey your earthly masters but always with an eye to obeying the real master, Christ. Don’t just do what you have to do to get by, but work heartily, as Christ’s servants doing what God wants you to do. And work with a smile on your face, always keeping in mind that no matter who happens to be giving the orders, YOU’RE REALLY SERVING GOD. Good work will get you good pay from the Master, regardless of whether you are slave or free.” (MSG);

Colossians 3:17, “Whatever you do [NO MATTER WHAT IT IS] in word or deed, DO EVERYTHING IN THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS [and in dependence on Him], giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (AMP);

Colossians 3:23, “Whatever you do [whatever your task may be], WORK FROM THE SOUL [THAT IS, PUT IN YOUR VERY BEST EFFORT], AS [SOMETHING DONE] FOR THE LORD AND NOT FOR MEN,” (AMP)

In other words, never be lax in giving your time to the work of the Kingdom. Whether you serve in the pulpit, at the door as an usher, on the choir, as a musician, as a janitor cleaning out the pews, serve in the manner you would if you were serving a King…because you are! There is no big and little work in the Kingdom, just work to be done. So, let today be the day you decide to work…wholeheartedly for the Lord!

Now, with the many social media networks (posting, snapping, liking, tweeting, scoping, streaming etc…), and all the things that are out there to distract us during the day and night, at work, home and church, it is so easy to waste God’s precious time. But what we have to remember is that we’re working for the King of kings, therefore, giving 100% however big or small it is, is an Obligation not an Option! Whether it’s in or out of the spotlight, we’ve got to realize time is of the essence and too precious and costly to waste. It often amazes me that we’re quick to say “we’re living in the end times…and these are the last days…” and yet we carry on as though we have all the time left in the world. If indeed these are the end times and last days shouldn’t we serve like it? Look like it? Act like? Behave and conduct ourselves like it? Preach, teach, and pray like it? And most importantly live like it? If there’s not much time left, shouldn’t we get this right, like right now?! Saints, no more carelessness with our time, for one day, our last night will indeed be our LAST night.

Not to mention it’s possible to be lax with the quality of our work for the Lord, settling for mediocrity. But the King should always be represented by excellence don’t you think?

Numbers 18:29 says that we “must offer as the Lord’s portion, the BEST and holiest part of everything we have.” As is my custom, let’s view this in a few translations:

“Out of all your gifts, you shall present every offering due to the Lord, FROM ALL THE BEST of it, even the sacred part from them.’” (AMP);

“You will present each gift offering to the Lord from all your gifts, FROM ITS BEST PORTIONS and its holiest parts.” (CEB);

“so the BEST of what you receive will be Mine.” (CEV);

“Out of all the gifts to you, you shall present every contribution due to the Lord; from each ITS BEST PART IS TO BE DEDICATED.’” (ESV);

“Give it from the BEST that you receive.” (GNT);

“MAKE SURE THAT God’s PORTION IS THE BEST and holiest of everything you get.” (MSG);

Are you getting this? Whatever you do for the Lord, whatever you give to the Lord, “MAKE SURE THAT God’s PORTION IS THE BEST and HOLIEST of EVERYTHING…”

NOT SECOND-BEST, NOT USED, NOT LESS THAN, NOT MEDIOCRE, NOT LEFT-OVERS, EVERYTHING YOU DO AND EVERYTHING YOU PRESENT MUST BE THE BEST!

Let’s tell the truth, in a very busy world and our very busy lives the King often gets our leftovers; our leftover time, our leftover energy, our leftover talent, our leftover finances. And that’s wrong! We forget this isn’t work for the church or for some Christian organization or for the people around us or the people we report to. This is for the King! This is the King who bought you back with the life of His Son! And someday we’ll stand before this very same King and we will offer Him the work we did for Him. I hope you will make it work that Jesus will be proud of and you don’t have to be ashamed of, or in the words of 2 Timothy 2:15, “…CONCENTRATE ON DOING YOUR BEST FOR GOD, WORK YOU WON’T BE ASHAMED OF…” (MSG)

And why should we offer God our BEST work? 1 Corinthians 3:9-15, “We are God’s coworkers, and you are God’s field, God’s building. I laid a foundation like a wise master builder according to God’s grace that was given to me, but someone else is building on top of it. EACH PERSON NEEDS TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE WAY THEY BUILD ON IT.  No one can lay any other foundation besides the one that is already laid, which is Jesus Christ.  So, whether someone builds on top of the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, grass, or hay,  each one’s work will be clearly shown. The day will make it clear, because it will be revealed with fire—THE FIRE WILL TEST THE QUALITY OF EACH ONE’S WORK.  If anyone’s work survives, they’ll get a reward.  But if anyone’s work goes up in flames, they’ll lose it. However, they themselves will be saved as if they had gone through a fire.” (CEB)

This is why we need to evaluate the work we’re doing for the Lord. We need to pay attention that we’re giving Him our all and our best because the day is coming when we’ll be tested and graded, and unlike school when you get a failing or passing grade, this grade affects you eternally. There’s no make-up, it goes through the fire, and either it survives or burns, sounds a lot like our souls. Which is why this is so vital that we handle this appropriately, carefully and cautiously.

We’ve all heard the term “what’s the worst that can happen?” Well, in this case, the WORST that can happen is not giving God your BEST!

Lastly, remember the story above, the woman would have given the Queen her best umbrella had she known it was the Queen making the request. However, for you and I, we have no excuses, no one to blame, we can do no finger pointing, because we know exactly WHO is making a request of us. And certainly we will not be able to say in the end, “If I had only known it was for the King, I would have given Him my best.” I assure you, by then…it will be far too late! Just ask the foolish virgins who missed out on God’s best because they gave Him their worst! Don’t let that be the final chapter in your life’s story.

From this day forward, determine to always give God your Best in All things!

1 Corinthians 10:31-33, “So eat your meals heartily, not worrying about what others say about you—you’re eating to God’s glory, after all, not to please them. AS A MATTER OF FACT, DO EVERYTHING THAT WAY, HEARTILY AND FREELY TO GOD’S GLORY. At the same time, don’t be callous in your exercise of freedom, thoughtlessly stepping on the toes of those who aren’t as free as you are. I try my best to be considerate of everyone’s feelings in all these matters; I hope you will be, too.” (MSG)

Proverbs 3:5-12, “…Honor God with everything you own; GIVE HIM THE FIRST AND THE BEST. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over…” (MSG)

Remember: Whether we give God our best or worst; whether we’re hot, cold, or lukewarm; whether we keep the oil in our lamps on high or low, full or empty, IT IS ALWAYS OUR DELIBERATE CHOICE. BE SURE TO CHOOSE WELL!

Matthew 25:1-13

THE STORY OF THE VIRGINS: “God’s kingdom is like ten young virgins who took oil lamps and went out to greet the bridegroom. Five were silly and five were smart. The silly virgins took lamps, but no extra oil. The smart virgins took jars of oil to feed their lamps. The bridegroom didn’t show up when they expected him, and they all fell asleep. “In the middle of the night someone yelled out, ‘He’s here! The bride-groom’s here! Go out and greet him!’ “The ten virgins got up and got their lamps ready. The silly virgins said to the smart ones, ‘Our lamps are going out; lend us some of your oil.’ “They answered, ‘There might not be enough to go around; go buy your own.’ “They did, but while they were out buying oil, the bridegroom arrived. When everyone who was there to greet him had gone into the wedding feast, the door was locked. “Much later, the other virgins, the silly ones, showed up and knocked on the door, saying, ‘Master, we’re here. Let us in.’ “He answered, ‘Do I know you? I don’t think I know you.’ “So stay alert. You have no idea when he might arrive.” (MSG)

Matthew 25:14-30

THE STORY ABOUT INVESTMENT: “It’s also like a man going off on an extended trip. He called his servants together and delegated responsibilities. To one he gave five thousand dollars, to another two thousand, to a third one thousand, depending on their abilities. Then he left. Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master’s investment. The second did the same. But the man with the single thousand dug a hole and carefully buried his master’s money. “After a long absence, the master of those three servants came back and settled up with them. The one given five thousand dollars showed him how he had doubled his investment. His master commended him: ‘Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.’ “The servant with the two thousand showed how he also had doubled his master’s investment. His master commended him: ‘Good work! You did your job well. From now on be my partner.’ “The servant given one thousand said, ‘Master, I know you have high standards and hate careless ways, that you demand the best and make no allowances for error. I was afraid I might disappoint you, so I found a good hiding place and secured your money. Here it is, safe and sound down to the last cent.’ “The master was furious. ‘That’s a terrible way to live! It’s criminal to live cautiously like that! IF YOU KNEW I WAS AFTER THE BEST, WHY DID YOU DO LESS THAN THE LEAST? The least you could have done would have been to invest the sum with the bankers, where at least I would have gotten a little interest. “‘Take the thousand and give it to the one who risked the most. And get rid of this “play-it-safe” who won’t go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.’” (MSG)

Matthew 25:31-46

THE STORY OF THE SHEEP AND THE GOATS: “When he finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and he will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left. “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit,
I was in prison and you came to me.’ “Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’ “Then he will turn to the ‘goats,’ the ones on his left, and say, ‘Get out, worthless goats! You’re good for nothing but the fires of hell. And why? Because—I was hungry and you gave me no meal, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was homeless and you gave me no bed, I was shivering and you gave me no clothes, Sick and in prison, and you never visited.’ “Then those ‘goats’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or homeless or shivering or sick or in prison and didn’t help?’ “He will answer them, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you failed to do one of these things to someone who was being overlooked or ignored, that was me—you failed to do it to me.’ “Then those ‘goats’ will be herded to their eternal doom, but the ‘sheep’ to their eternal reward.” (MSG)

WHETHER YOU MAKE IT IN THE DOOR TO BE WITH THE BRIDEGROOM, OR HAVE THE DOOR SLAMMED IN YOUR FACE; WHETHER YOU INVEST BY USING WHAT GOD GAVE YOU OR YOU WASTE IT; WHETHER YOU ENTER ETERNAL DOOM, OR ETERNAL REWARD, THE DECISION IS ALWAYS YOURS TO MAKE! GIVE GOD YOUR WORST AND RECEIVE CURSES, GIVE GOD YOUR BEST AND RECEIVE BLESSINGS. THE CHOICE IS ALWAYS YOURS TO MAKE! CHOOSE WISELY!

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWord

Feel free to also join us at: http://www.selfcarewithdrshermaine.blogspot.com Today’s Lesson: “Controlling Hypertension and Lowering Cholesterol”

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“Don’t Save the Flowers for Their Funeral”

1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing.” (AMP)

If it’s one day I remember vividly it is the day it aired that our beloved Princess Diana had died. Yet, when Princess Diana died, I still don’t believe anyone could have ever predicted the massive public outpouring of love and grief that came from the British people in the week following her death. Maybe you remember that sea of flowers that enveloped the front of Buckingham Palace and Diana’s personal residence at Kensington Palace. You couldn’t get anywhere near the gates! The flowers seemed to stretch out endlessly! Someone who had been close to the Princess said, “Diana had no idea she was loved like this.” That’s sad but not unique!

I’ve never been to a funeral anywhere near the scale of Princess Diana’s. But I have been to a lot of funerals. And there are lots of flowers there. Not just the kind with petals, but I mean verbal flowers! You hear people talking about how much that person meant to them, about their strong points, about special qualities or experiences that touched the life of the one who was giving the tribute.

However, it would be much more affirming to that departed person if only they could’ve received those verbal flowers in life. If only they could, in essence, smell all the flowers that are suddenly coming their way. I can’t help but wonder -and even consider for myself how many of us have told him/her these wonderful things while they could still appreciate them?

One of my devotional Scriptures for today was 1 Thessalonians 5:11. It’s simple, but it’s strong medicine. “…encourage and comfort one another and build up one another.” That needs to be shared in every home; every work place; every classroom; every church. “…encourage and comfort one another and build up one another.” That’s one of those commands from God that would be really great to display wouldn’t it?

However, too often, we are very communicative about what we don’t like that a person is doing. The criticisms, the put-downs, the sarcasm, the complaining, oh they come pouring out really quickly. So most of us have a good idea of what’s wrong with us, because we have a lot of help finding that out from others. But you literally have to train your mind and train your mouth to look for and to express what you do like about that person; what strengths God built into them; what they do right. Things you should thank them for, what they’ve done that’s helped you or ministered to you. Instead of waiting to hear the words, “in profound sorrow…” In essence, let’s stop saving the flowers for their funeral!

People are by no means perfect, NONE OF US ARE! We are all flawed, broken, damaged, and imperfect. We get things wrong, we think, speak, feel and act wrong. But that’s not all the time! Everyone has something absolutely wonderful about them. How great would it be to highlight that, just once, while they’re still alive to appreciate it?

At funerals, and home-going services, I’m often floored by the great words people speak, the experiences they share, and the emotions they express. But I can never shake the question from my mind, “I wonder if they did all that while the person was still living?”

Think about it: How many people in your life help you, support you, encourage you, provide for you, protect you, love you, laugh with you? How many people in your life are you able to call and talk to, to share, to lean on, to depend and rely on? How many people in your life have been there for you during the ups, downs, mean in between times; the good, the bad, the ugly, the insane? Now think, do they know you appreciate it and them? Have you told them? If not, what are waiting for? If so, why not tell them again?

As for me, I’ve always been the type of person who’s not all that crazy about receiving gifts, words and cards on valentine’s day, my birthday, mother’s day, Christmas etc…No, I’m a bit more mushy! I love flowers (just because it’s Tuesday); I love hearing I love you (in the laundromat); I love dressing up and going out to dinner (at Applebee’s); I love an unexpected gift (for absolutely no reason); I love cards (that aren’t attached to any holiday, and especially cards that are written from the person, not the perfectly worded Hallmark tradition). I love hearing ‘thank you’, and when I ask ‘for what?’ the response is simple, ‘for everything.’ I love random hugs that have nothing to do with ‘turn to your neighbor and embrace them.’ I guess in essence, I love those imperfect, untimely gestures of affection and appreciation. Not those attached to a time of year, a birth, holiday or worse a death. Think about it, the last time someone showed you a sign of love and appreciation, that was completely unexpected and not related to anything in particular, how great did that make you feel? Now, wouldn’t it be awesome to do that for someone else, so they can join in on such a great feeling?

I wonder what would Princess Diana’s response have been, if she simply woke up one morning and looked out her window and saw that massive parade of flowers, for no other reason than ‘we love you and want you to smell your flowers while you still can?’

Well, truth is, you don’t have to do anything quite that elaborate, but there are people in your life that need to hear your love, see your love, feel your love, and even smell your love. And why not express it NOW, when you get to SEE the joy it brings them, while they are alive!

Why wait until the funeral to bring beautiful flowers that they can’t see, smell or appreciate? Why wait until the funeral to tell the whole sanctuary and all of social media how wonderful a mother she is; how great a father he is; how beautiful your children are; how loving your church family is; how compassionate your leaders are, how phenomenal your wife is; how loving your husband is. Why wait to tell them they preached a great sermon, taught an inspiring lesson, prayed a powerful prayer, cooked a delicious meal? Why wait to tell him how handsome he is or how beautiful she is? Why wait to say good job, well done, you did great, I’m proud of you, I knew you could do it? Why wait to buy flowers; a card; dinner; go to the movies; out dancing; sight-seeing; skating; skiing; painting? Why wait to call, leave a voicemail, send a text, email or letter? Why wait to pay them a visit, buy a silly gift in their favorite color or cartoon that will be sentimental, thoughtful, loved and appreciated? Why wait? Because one day, you’ll wait too long and miss a moment that becomes only a memory.

The people in your personal world are people in desperate need of regular encouragement. So might I ask you a personal question: How well are you doing with that?

You know, I love what the word “encourage” means. It’s defined as “to give support, confidence, or hope to; to help or stimulate the development of.” Its French Origin “encourager”, from “corage”, literally means “courage.” And “courage” is defined as “the ability to do something that frightens one; strength in the face of pain or grief.” It’s Old French Origin “corage”, from Latin “cor” literally means “heart.” And that’s exactly what you give to people when you encourage them, you literally give them your heart, which is literally to give them your love! Your heart is the very core of you, how special it is to share with someone the very center of you? Can you imagine how special someone would feel to know they have your heart? Well, that’s what you give people when you encourage them, your heart, your love. And something that tender, meaningful, and special should never be held hostage until the words “in profound sorrow…” are spoken.

When you encourage someone, you are literally putting courage into them. You ever see the face of a child who is terrified at something, only to have them look towards the voice saying “go ahead, you can do it, I’m right here, I won’t let it hurt you, I’m not going anywhere, go for it, I believe in you.” With that thought, there’s a commercial that I love. It’s a mom holding onto her son’s bicycle, and he turns and looks at her and says, “don’t let go!” She responds, “I won’t!” (But she does anyway…lol) However, he doesn’t fall, but neither does he turn around to see if she was still holding on. Makes me wonder, if just hearing her say she wouldn’t let go, was enough? Just those few words of confidence and encouragement, and off he went peddling his heart out with a smile!

How many people in your life need to hear you speak words of confidence and encouragement like that to them?

Let’s be honest now, truth is, we all have a terrible tendency of getting familiar, comfortable, used to and even too busy for. And that can be a disaster to any relationship/friendship. It’s good ground for sowing bad seeds of complacency, taking advantage of and taking for granted. You almost get into a place of expectancy: (‘that’s what they always do, that’s what they should always do’), even without your thanks and appreciation. But what happens when the husband who rubs your feet at night doesn’t wake up the next morning? What happens when the wife who keeps the household afloat, closes her eyes for the last time? What happens when the children don’t make it home from school? What happens when the fire and flood destroy all the things you never took time to notice and appreciate before? What happens when the friend moves, and the friendship moves on too? What happens when mom doesn’t return from her usual doctor’s visit? What happens when the bus jumps the curb where dad was standing? What happens when grandpa now has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t remember you? What happens when grandma is bound to her wheelchair and can no longer get to all the family functions? What happens when you promised over the last 6 months that you would call your favorite aunt, only to hear the sad news that she’s passed on? What happens when the uncle who took a million pictures at your every function has now lost his sight?

You see, in the blink of an eye, anything can happen! So, why assume and take for granted that you will always have tomorrow, when there’s nothing further from the truth?

Job 14:1-2, “Man who is born of woman lives only a short time and is full of trouble.  He grows up and dries like a flower. He leaves like a shadow and does not stay.” (NLV);

Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to use wisely all the time we have.” (CEV);

James 4:14, “Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen in your life tomorrow. [What is secure in your life?] You are merely a vapor [like a puff of smoke or a wisp of steam from a cooking pot] that is visible for a little while and then vanishes [into thin air].” (AMP)

Yes, that’s just how life is! Short, full of trouble, grows, dries and leaves. Nothing and no one is secure, for we don’t know the least thing about tomorrow (if it ever comes around again). Which is why we should use wisely all the time we have.

Would I consider this a gloomy message? Absolutely not! It’s a challenge, it’s an empowerment, it’s an opportunity, it’s a message to rethink and appreciate those you ‘say’ you love. It’s motivation to celebrate life (and all those who make up your life). It’s to shift you from the temporary to the eternal. It’s to make you change for the better. Sadly enough, we as believers, live in this world as if we’re never to leave it. And that my friend is a dangerous way to live. Our goal isn’t a house on the earth, but a mansion in the sky. Heaven is our hope and home. We are mere travelers, visitors, aliens, guests, sojourners temporarily walking through this earth. The goal isn’t to build a life you can’t leave, but to build up loved ones, who know how much you really love them (no matter who leaves here first). I’ve always said, I want to take care of my parents in such a way, that when they leave this earth, I can laugh more than cry because I did right by them. And I pray you will live the same way. Encourage others, appreciate them, celebrate them, thank them, build them up, after all, it’s what we are commanded to do (not suggested)!

And truth is, some of us come from a background where there wasn’t much praise, there wasn’t much encouragement, so it’s hard for us to give what we never got. But you of all people should know then how much it hurts not to get it. So, today, ask the Lord to give you eyes to see the positive in the people around you and to give you the words to tell them what you see (while they can still hear your words, apply them, appreciate them, and become better because of them).

When you praise someone, thank someone and compliment that person, when you tell them the good things you see in them, you are doing what the Bible calls “building them up.” What’s the alternative? Tearing them down. However they treat you, your job is to be like Jesus and to give them the gift of encouragement. Some of the difficult people in your world may be difficult only because they’ve had so little encouragement.

Whatever nice things you might say at a person’s funeral, why not decide Today to say them Now, to their Face? A pile of flowers after they’re gone won’t do a thing for them. But your flowers now could make a big difference if you give the flowers to them when they can still enjoy them.

The person you’ve been saying for the longest “I’m going to call her, visit him, go out to eat with them”….GO!!! Stop hesitating, stop procrastinating, stop making excuses, stop assuming tomorrow is guaranteed on your to-do-list, because it’s not, not for any of us!

Don’t Save Anymore Flowers; Don’t Wait For Anymore Holidays, Events or Special Occasions! Don’t Save the Best China For Once a Year! Don’t Assume They Know How You Feel About Them and What They Really Mean to You! Today, Express It, Show It, Say It, Share It!

I’m sure Princess Diana knew she was loved, but certainly not to the degree that was expressed…when it was too late for her to see it, hear it, feel it, or smell it!

So, I’m here as your little reminder to enjoy life and to enjoy your loved ones (expressively, verbally and if you’re anything like me, in the silliest ways possible!) Don’t hide your love, release it, show it, TODAY!

In closing, my children think I go a bit overboard on this one! Because my daughters are 30 and 27 and I still kiss them, hug them, play in their hair, send them silly text messages, cook their favorite foods, tell them I love them, buy them silly stuff, and even wait up for them to get home. Because I never want them to wonder about my love, care and appreciation for them in my life. As for my husband, he can’t eat beef or pork, so when I cook dinner (which is almost every night), even if I cook pork or beef for myself, I still cook a separate meal for him. Why? Because even the smallest of gestures convey love and appreciation for the people in your life that you ‘say’ you love. And sometimes that will require you to do a little more than you really feel like doing on somedays. However, when he praises my cooking ability, and even goes so far as to take pictures of his dinner and keep them stored in his phone in a “my wife’s dinner” file, something about that just makes me smile and feel appreciated, valued and loved. You see, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate! Most often people just need to hear “I love you, you’re important to me, I value you, I missed you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, can we start over, can I help you with that?” Or maybe just a post it on the fridge as you’re leaving the house before your spouse or children that says, “I love you, enjoy a great, safe day!” It doesn’t take much to do something simple, yet heartfelt to convey to your loved ones that you do in fact love them. You can pull out her chair; you can iron his slacks; you can open the door for her; you can pour a glass of juice to go with his dinner; you can bring a stuffed animal home for the kids (and not because it’s their birthday or holiday, but simply because you want them to See that you think about them throughout the day. And believe it or not, but kids need that kind of reassurance of your love too!) You can pick up dinner on the way home or make surprise reservations or whip up some franks and beans (if you’re really not skilled in the kitchen). The whole point is for your loved ones to see, hear, feel, taste and smell your verbal expression of flowers! Why wait for “in profound sorrow”, when you can show love “just because it’s Saturday”?

Family and Friends, enjoy a beautiful day and please know my heart of thanks to you for your friendship, following, support and encouragement are dear to my heart. You don’t have to do what you do, but you do…lol! And so today is my day to practice my own preaching…I LOVE YOU, I THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE YOU, I CELEBRATE YOU, I LOOK FORWARD TO ALL THE GREAT THINGS GOD IS GOING TO DO THROUGH YOU, I BELIEVE IN YOU! Please receive this as my verbal flowers to you this day!

“We’re here to give you your flowers while you live.” (Barbara Knox)

“Don’t come to my funeral to show how much you cared about me. Show how much you care about me now…while I’m alive.” (Daily Inspirational Quotes)

“Appreciation is learning to give flowers while people are still living.” (Joel Osteen)

“Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.” (Anne Frank)

“Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine to the soul.” (Luther Burbank)

“Appreciate the people in your life now, you have no way of knowing how long they’ll be here. Show your love now. Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, they can be gone in an instant.” (LoveAndSayings)

“Appreciate the people who fill the spaces in your life or one day, when you least expect it, those spaces will be empty.” (LoveAndSayings)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWord

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“Leadership Must Be TESTED, Not Just TITLED!”

“TEST ME, O Lord…Examine my heart and my mind.” (Psalm 26:2)               

Tests are Designed to Reveal and Validate What You’ve Learned. Therefore, Until You’ve Been Tested, You Really Don’t Know What You Know—and More Importantly, WHAT YOU DON’T! Tests are Opportunities to Prove Your Growth, Maturity, Obedience, Discipline, Faithfulness and Potential!

So remember the following in times of TESTING: 

1…YOU’LL EXPERIENCE TESTS AT EACH STAGE OF YOUR GROWTH: Just like children in school, they don’t get to take an ELEMENTARY EXAM, pass, go to JUNIOR HIGH and say, “I took a test in 6th grade, I don’t need to take this one!” NO! AT EACH STAGE A TEST, THAT FITS THAT STAGE AND PREPARES YOU FOR THE NEXT, HAS TO BE TAKEN AND PASSED, IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE PROMOTED AND ELEVATED…DESERVINGLY! In a Nutshell: You Can’t Prepare For College, Based Off a 6th Grade Exam, Even If You Passed it at the Top of Your Class! It Still Doesn’t Count! Likewise the Test You Passed as a Minister Doesn’t Qualify You for Eldership. Nor does the Test You Passed as an Elder Qualify You For Pastoralship! Neither Does Your Physical, Mental, Emotional, Financial, Psychological, Social or Spiritual Tests That You Passed In 1999 Mean Anything in 2019! So, Stop Whining and Crying, and Instead Buckle Down and Prepare to Pass Your Test Knowing that Tests Are Only Given When There’s Potential Proof that You’ve Outgrown Your Current Placement!

2…YOUR GOAL SHOULD ALWAYS BE TO PASS THE TEST, OTHERWISE, YOU GET TO TAKE IT REPETITIVELY UNTIL YOU DO: You Do Not Get the Opportunity to Fail Your Test and Pass On to the Next Level Anyhow…(Despite What You See In Our Public School Systems and Church Leadership Today)! Now, if You Fail It’s Alright, Because if the Truth Be Told, We Have ALL Failed on One Test or Another! HOWEVER, As Soon As You Fail, At Least Be Smart Enough to HIT THE BOOKS AGAIN (the Word of God), MEET WITH YOUR TUTOR (the Holy Spirit), STUDY (2 Timothy 2:15), and then Reschedule to Take Your Test AGAIN! You may Fall Down, but Each Time You Get Back Up, POINTS ARE ADDED TO YOUR GRADE! YES, YOU GET BONUS POINTS FOR GETTING BACK UP! Extra Work Earns Extra Credit! Bottom line, You Don’t Get to Go to the Next Level, Without Passing What You’ve Failed! And if you are in the UNFORTUNATE position of being under a LEADER who will pass you anyway (based on how you treat them, your attendance, your gifts, charisma, tithes and offering etc…), HAVE ENOUGH SENSE TO NOT ALLOW IT! IN THE END, YOU WILL ONLY SET YOURSELF UP FOR A FOOLISH AND FATAL HARD FALL! Think about it: Would you allow someone to pass you to Advanced Algebra WHILE YOU’RE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE TIME TABLE CHART IN THE BACK OF YOUR COMPOSITION NOTEBOOK!? NO! WHY? BECAUSE YOU’LL ONLY FAIL, AND LOOK FOOLISH WHILE DOING IT! LIKEWISE, MAKE SURE YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT GRADE, TAKING AND PASSING THE RIGHT TESTS, AT THE RIGHT TIME! DON’T BE QUICK TO MOVE UNTIL YOU’RE QUALIFIED!

3…TESTING ALWAYS PRECEDES PROMOTION: Actually, it PREPARES You For It and PROVES You’re Ready to Handle It! If You Cheat, or Try to Copy Somebody Else’s Answers, You May Temporarily Seem to Succeed. But Eventually Time and Circumstances Will Reveal You For What You Are—Which Is Someone Who Can’t Handle What They Manipulated Their Way Into Getting! Here’s Biblical Proof: “Seven sons of Sceva, a leading priest, were doing this. But one time when they tried it, the evil spirit replied, “I know Jesus, and I know Paul, but Who Are You?” Then the man with the evil spirit Leaped On Them, Overpowered Them, and Attacked Them With Such Violence that They Fled From the House, Naked and Battered.” (Acts 19:14-16 NLT). People of God, Pass Your Test Before Attempting to Pass Out Ministry Cards! If Not, You’ll Quickly Find Yourself Being the “Eighth Son of Sceva!”

4…SELF-PROMOTION CAN NEVER REPLACE DIVINE PROMOTION: So, Don’t Attempt to Rush Ahead of God’s Plans; Wait and Allow Him to Open the Door In the Right Season! Look at it this way: Even after a child passes their exam, all their paperwork has to be Looked Over, Graded and Accounted For! What They’ve Done Throughout the Year Has to Be Reviewed. What were All of Their Test Scores? How did they handle Their Projects? Were they Late? How many times were they Absent? How well did they work with their classmates? Likewise, God Will Examine and Evaluate Your FULL FILE, to Determine Whether or Not You’re Ready for the Next Level. And just because you passed ‘A’ Test, Don’t Mean You’re Ready to Pass the ‘GRADE’! “But God hasn’t moved to the mountains; his holy address hasn’t changed. He’s in charge, as always, his eyes taking everything in, his eyelids Unblinking, Examining Adam’s Unruly Brood Inside and Out, Not Missing a Thing. He Tests the Good and the Bad Alike; If Anyone Cheats, God’s Outraged. Fail the Test and You’re Out, Out in a Hail of Firestones, Drinking From a Canteen Filled With Hot Desert Wind.” (Psalm 11:4-6 MSG). Saints, God Will Exam You Inside and Out, Test You, Watch If You Cheat and Give You the Boot if You Fail!  You May Impress People, But God On The Other Hand Is Not Impressed At All! Therefore, Don’t Get Caught Up In the “Laying On of MAN’S Hands”! It Means Nothing Compared to the Laying On of GOD’S HANDS AND HIS COMMISSIONING!

5…A PRODUCT CANNOT BE SAFELY AND PROFITABLY USED, UNTIL IT’S BEEN THOROUGHLY TESTED, AND NEITHER CAN YOU! God’s Not a Hard-Hearted Parent Who Enjoys Seeing His Children Struggle Through Life’s Tests. If He were to visit you in person, He’d probably say: “I don’t enjoy making you go through this, but it’s the only way to prove you’re ready for what’s ahead. Before I can use you greatly—I must test you thoroughly!” Here’s a tip for your next test – Generally, God’s Tests for Elevation are Based On Your CHARACTER! And like any Good Actor in a stage play, Your Job is to “STAY IN CHARACTER!” Regardless of what anyone else does, FOLLOW GOD’S SCRIPT FOR YOUR LIFE! I understand everybody’s becoming a Pastor, Bishop, Apostle, Overseer, Prophet, etc…OVERNIGHT WITHOUT QUALIFICATION, CREDENTIALS, CALLING OR CHARACTER…HOWEVER, DON’T YOU DO IT! “…These were Asher’s sons, all of them Responsible, Excellent in CHARACTER, and Brave in Battle—Good Leaders…” (1 Chronicles 7:33-40 MSG); “Be Wary of False Preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t Be Impressed With Charisma; Look For CHARACTER. Who Preachers Are Is The Main Thing, Not What They Say. A Genuine Leader Will Never Exploit Your Emotions or Your Pocketbook. These Diseased Trees with their bad apples are going to be chopped down and burned.” (Matthew 7:15-20 MSG); “There was a Man by the Name of Joseph, a member of the Jewish High Council, a Man of Good Heart and Good CHARACTER…” (Luke 23:50 MSG); “So don’t lose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with Good CHARACTER, Spiritual Understanding, Alert Discipline, Passionate Patience, Reverent Wonder, Warm Friendliness, and Generous Love, Each Dimension Fitting Into and Developing the Others. With these Qualities Active and Growing In Your Lives, No Grass Will Grow Under Your Feet, No Day Will Pass Without Its Reward As You Mature In Your Experience of Our Master Jesus. Without These Qualities You Can’t See What’s Right Before You, Oblivious That Your Old Sinful Life Has Been Wiped Off The Books.” (2 Peter 1:5-9 MSG). People of God, You Will Never Be Used Greatly, Until You’ve Been Tested Thoroughly! And Your Testing Will Be Largely On the Maintenance of Your CHARACTER! Therefore, Possess Good Character, and You Won’t Have To Pray God Grades On A Curve!

If You’re On the Verge of Elevation, then You should be Real Uncomfortable Right About Now! You should feel the Squeezing and the Pressures of Preparing for and Taking God’s Exam! Truth Is: Growth and Maturity Means there’s some Stretching and Expanding! In other words, things are Getting Bigger! Just like in the natural your feet and hands get larger, you get taller, your body develops those things that were once hidden, and brings them to the surface. Likewise, in the Spirit, when You’re Growing and Maturing, Your Faith is Stretched, Your Humility is Increased, Your Accountability is More Severe, Your Responsibility is Expanded, Your Prayers are More Fervent, Your Fasting Becomes More Frequent, Your Studies Become More In Depth. Growth, Maturity and Elevation Are Some Great, Big Blessings, However, They Do Not Come Easily or Comfortably! So, if You’re on the Verge of Elevation and the Weight is becoming Heavier, that’s a Pretty Good Sign that You’re on your way to an A+ On Your Test! On the Other Hand, if You’re on the Verge of Elevation, and All is Smooth Sailing, I’m No Guidance Counselor, but I’d Advise You to Keep All Your Books From this Current Grade! Why? Because I Got a Feeling You’re Going to Need ’em…Again!

“TEST ME, O Lord…Examine my heart and my mind.” (Psalm 26:2)

                 Let’s look at some of the TESTS God Uses to DEVELOP Us: 

1…THE TEST OF SMALL THINGS: This TEST comes when we’re asked to do something We Consider to be BENEATH OUR ABILITY AND POTENTIAL. It Proves how Faithful we are to Our Commitments. It also Reveals whether or not we’re Ready for Greater Responsibilities. Jesus said, “Whoever can be Trusted with VERY LITTLE can also be Trusted with VERY MUCH” (Luke 16:10). You Don’t get to Oversee Much Until You’re Willing to Undertake Little! In other words, if you can be an Elder and still clean the church bathroom, you can be trusted with More! If you can be the Women’s Ministry Director, and serve food at a women’s shelter, you can be trusted with More! If you can be the Chairman Deacon and still mop up a spill in the vestibule, you can be trusted with More! If you can be the Minister of Music, and play no different in front of 2 people than you would 2,000, you can be trusted with More! If you can be the Dean of the Christian Education Ministry and not get an attitude when asked to teach 3 four year olds a Sunday School lesson, you can be trusted with More! Are You Starting to Get the Picture? Can You See It Clearly? You Don’t Get Anything Big Until You Can Be Faithful Over the Small You’ve Already Been Given! If your Pastor was asked if you qualify for More, based off this little summary, would he/she give you a yes or a no? An A+ or an F-?

2…THE MOTIVE TEST: This TEST comes to us when we’re doing all the right things—BUT NOT NECESSARILY FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS! For example, it’s right to Pray. YET Jesus Warned: “When you Pray, DO NOT BE LIKE THE HYPOCRITES, FOR THEY LOVE…TO BE SEEN BY MEN” (Matthew 6:5) That’s why we need the mirror of God’s Word: “For the Word of God is…able to JUDGE THE THOUGHTS AND INTENTIONS OF THE HEART.” (Hebrews 4:12) When you stand before Christ to be evaluated and rewarded, the question will Not only be, ‘WHAT did you do,’ but also, ‘WHY did you do it?’ A good question that Pastors should ask of their leaders a little more often than most do.

3…THE STEWARDSHIP TEST: Jesus said, “Give, and it will be given to you.” (Luke 6:38). Only when your Empty Hand is Open, can you Receive More From God. The Practice of Giving on a Regular Basis Prevents You from Being Owned By What You Own! Money is called Currency because it’s supposed to Flow Through You Into the Lives of Others! Abraham Was Blessed For the Sole Purpose To Be a Blessing! So Are You! When you Withhold out of Fear or Greed, you Limit what God Wants to Give You. So become a River (one that flows), Not a Reservoir (one that withholds)!

4…THE WILDERNESS TEST: This test comes when we feel Spiritually Dry and our joy level is Low. It Reveals Our Ability to Adapt to Adversity and Change, and as a Result, Enter a New level of Growth! It Proves We’re Able to Perform Even When Life and Ministry Aren’t Fun. “He led you through the vast and dreadful desert…To…TEST You So…In the End it Might Go Well With You.” (Deuteronomy 8:15-16). Remember: Short-term pain, Long-term gain! You Don’t Get to Inherit the Wealthy Place Until You Can Endure the Wilderness!

5…THE CREDIBILITY TEST: Nothing matters more than your Confidence Before God—and Your Credibility Before People! When Lot tried to rescue his sons-in-law from the destruction of Sodom: The Bible says, “He seemed as one that mocked.” (Genesis 19:14) As a result he Lost Credibility When it Mattered Most! Make Sure You Don’t! The Last thing You want is to tell people in a Burning Building where the Exit is, But They Don’t Believe You, So They Don’t Listen to You or Follow You! When You Lose Credibility, You Lose Lives!

6…THE AUTHORITY TEST: Before Paul took the Gospel to the Gentiles he First went to Jerusalem and Submitted His Plan to the Apostles, Asking For Their Blessing. There wasn’t a “Nobody is going to tell me what to do” Attitude! When You Fail to Submit, You Forfeit Your Opportunity to Pass On to the Next Level! Look at it this way: God placed David under a Flawed Leader named Saul that wanted to Kill Him! Proving you can Learn As Much From the Mistakes of a Failure As You Can From the Achievement of a Success! Because David Submitted, He Qualified to Sit on Saul’s Throne! An Effective Follower Becomes an Effective Leader!

7…THE OFFENCE TEST: Jesus said, “Offences Will Come.” (Luke 17:1) So Be Ready! Those who Lead Always Take the Brunt of It! The Front Line is No Place for the Weak-Willed or Weak-Kneed! So, When Offences come are you going to: Get Mad and Get Nowhere; Get Even and Get in Trouble; Or Get Over It By Forgiving? “If you hold anything against anyone, Forgive Him, So…Your Father In Heaven May Forgive…Your Sins.” (Mark 11:25). If You Can’t Handle Offence You Can’t Handle the Opportunity of More!

8…THE WARFARE TEST: This test is for those who Claim to be Strong in Faith, but Prove to be Weak in Fight! “When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, Though that was Shorter. For God said, ‘If They Face War, They Might Change Their Minds and Return to Egypt.’” (Exodus 13:17). Now, you Haven’t been called to be Insensitive and Abrasive, But if Your Destiny Is Worth Pursuing—It’s Worth Fighting For! So, Toughen Up! It’s a Battlefield, Not a Bed of Roses! You must Engage the Enemy Daily Using Every Spiritual Weapon at Your Disposal! If Not, He’ll Steal, Kill and Destroy You! This test Demonstrates Your Ability to Continue in Your Vision, Even While Experiencing Disappointment and Opposition! So remember, the Level of Attack is the Best Indicator as to the Level of Blessing that Awaits You, Beyond It! Your Wealthy Place Is Just On The Other Side Of Your Warfare! Don’t Fail This Test! It Will Cost You Too Much!

9…THE TEST OF TIME: This test has Two Dimensions. One Reveals the Strength of Your Life’s Impact, the other Reveals the Length of It! Each Calls For Your Signature of Excellence On All that You Do. Listen: The electric light still burns even though Edison has left the building! The needy are still being cared for even though General Booth is in Heaven. Now, even if your Legacy Doesn’t Reach Those Heights, Your Influence Can Still Outlive You! The test of Time has a second dimension—An Eternal One. How You Live Your Life Today, Determines Your Rewards In Heaven. “Eventually there is going to be an Inspection. If you use cheap or inferior materials, you’ll be found out.” (1 Corinthians 3:12-13). Therefore, Live a Life and Lifestyle that Others Will Deem Worthy of Continuing as a Legacy, Far After Your Earthly Life Is Over!

10…THE LORDSHIP TEST: Simon Peter passed this test by Obeying a Command that Seemed to Make No Sense At All: Jesus said to him, “Pull out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But Because You Say So, I Will Let Down the Nets.’ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break.” (Luke 5:4-6). First, Peter tried fishing Alone and Failed. Next, He Tried it With Jesus and Succeeded. Same Fisherman. Same Fish. Same Boat. Same Nets. What changed? He Was Willing to Do it God’s Way! If You want to Succeed, Talk to God, Listen to God—and Do What God Says! 

With 10 points per test, what does your grade look like so far? Note: If you’re going to Be Helped, you have to First Be Honest. So if you haven’t made 100% yet, you still have the Opportunity to do so. Just hit the books (Your Bible), meet daily with your tutor (The Holy Spirit), study diligently (2 Timothy 2:15), and retake the test! There’s a 100% Within Your Reach….Grasp It!

Church, don’t just walk around with Titles that have never been Tested! Make sure you’re proven and qualified. Don’t just go with the latest fad of adding on more Initials yet making no Impact. Maturity, Responsibility and Growth have to take place on your Current Level of Leadership before you attempt Skipping Steps that will eventually lead you to Demotion! Leadership is not an Entitlement, nor is it a Competition. Respect God’s Process of Testing, Time and Choice. It’s not about your Platform, but His Plan. Follow it to the letter, do not deviate! God does not need your help, and knows exactly what’s best for you! Trust Him to do what’s Right, so you won’t have to suffer being Left Back!

2 Timothy 2:15

“Study and do your best to present yourself to God approved, a workman [TESTED by trial] who has no reason to be ashamed, accurately handling and skillfully teaching the word of truth.” (AMP)

“Study and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (TESTED by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully teaching] the Word of Truth.” (AMPC)

“Work hard so God can say to you, “Well done.” Be a good workman, one who does not need to be ashamed WHEN GOD EXAMINES YOUR WORK. Know what his Word says and means.” (TLB)

“People who are given whatever they want soon develop a sense of entitlement and rapidly lose their sense of proportion.” (Sarah Churchwell)

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.” (Brene Brown)

“Gratitude begins where my sense of entitlement ends.” (Steven Furtick)

“Entitlement is a delusion built on self-centeredness and laziness.” (Pinterest)

“Teach your children gratefulness. Do all you can to deliver them from our culture’s poisonous entitlement mentality.” (Randy Alcorn)

“Don’t feel entitled to anything you didn’t sweat and struggle for.” (Marian Wright Edelman)

“Service and gratitude will fuel your relationship; entitlement and expectation will poison it.” (Steve Maraboli)

“One of the consequences of such notions as ‘entitlements’ is that people who have contributed nothing to society feel that society owes them something, apparently just for being nice enough to grace us with their presence.” (Thomas Sowell)

“Having a sense of entitlement is upheld by the belief that WE are the center of the universe.” (Aletheia Luna)

“The final test of a leader is that he leaves behind him people of conviction who will carry on.” (Walter J. Lippmann)

“Leadership is less about your credentials, creativity or charisma; and more about your credibility, compassion and character.” (Alex Ihama)

“God never uses anyone greatly until He tests them deeply.” (Aiden Wilson Tozer)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWord

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“Don’t Judge My Character, When You Don’t Know My Story!”

“…What’s the STORY behind these ruins?” (1 Kings 9:6-9 MSG)

“I’m on the edge of losing it – the pain in my gut keeps burning. I’m ready to tell my STORY of failure…” (Psalm 38:17-20 MSG)

Anybody that knows me, knows how much I love dogs! In fact, if I wasn’t so busy, I’d have a dog right now! You see, I’ve had them ever since I was a baby. Every breed, every size! And those that know me best, know that German Shepherds have always been my favorite dog, since my favorite childhood dog was a German Shepherd named “Captain.” Every time I see a dog, whether walking down the street or if I’m in the car or on the bus, I instantly turn into a 5 year old screaming, “daddy can I have him?” In a nutshell: I Love Dogs!

However, I’ve never met a pup quite like my friends Yorkie “Bella”. You see, Bella wasn’t very easy to get to know. She was such a cutie pie though! So little, so adorable, but not approachable at all! In my experience, most dogs run up to you when you come to the door, even if you’re a stranger, and they’re usually all over you. But Not Bella! She ran the other way and cowered in the corner! No matter how gentle, or how friendly you were to her, it didn’t matter. As soon as she saw someone coming, she ran in the opposite direction! She refused to come out of her corner for anybody! “Strange dog,” I thought. However, that was until my girlfriend explained that Bella had been terribly abused by her first owners. So, when she saw people, she saw pain.

You couldn’t understand the way Bella Acted, until you knew her Story. Believe it or not, but people are like that, too.

You watch how they act, how they treat people, you see the bad attitude they have, and you say, “I don’t know what her problem is, but I don’t have to deal with her foolishness! I don’t know why he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but I will not be treated like I was his aggravating alarm clock that disturbed his beauty sleep!” Or, you respond with the same garbage they just dished out to you. So often we judge people with little, distorted or no information at all! We see what they do, and assume that’s who they are. But rarely is that ever the case.

I’ve discovered that the “make a difference” people in this world, the healers, are the ones who never forget this critical issue in dealing with people: YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND THE WAY THEY ACT, UNTIL YOU KNOW THEIR STORY! AND EVERYBODY’S GOT A STORY!

I remember discovering how wrong I had been about some of the women in my leadership group, AFTER many of them poured out their hearts at our women’s retreat. Late into the night, people you thought you knew, revealed the pain in their background. Some of the women who were “distant” were physically, mentally, verbally, and sexually abused. Some of the women who had “bad attitudes” actually suffered from varying mental illnesses (such as depression). Some of the women who “dogged men out“, were in relationships that treated them like property instead of like a person. Some of the women who didn’t like to be a “part of our social gatherings“, were actually ex-alcoholics, and although our events had no alcohol at them, for them, just being in a place with a lot of people, laughing, joking, having fun, listening to music, all gave them urges to need a drink (since that was mostly the settings when they did drink). They were simply trying to avoid the triggers that have shot them in the past!

In other words, suddenly the lights went on and I said, “So that’s what I’ve been seeing all these years! It had nothing to do with their personality, just their personal, private, painful past.” I felt bad that I had been responding to them based on their deeds, and never considered the needs behind those deeds.

Reminds me of parenting my children as babies. I had my oldest daughter at 17 and my youngest at 19, so I wasn’t exactly the most patient, understanding or experienced parent! I could deal with them crying because they were hungry or wet, but it was those times when they would cry, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what they were crying about, that drove me nuts! There were times I would cry because I couldn’t figure out why they were crying. Panic attacks would set in, depression would be overwhelming…and then my mom would come in the room, pick them up, close my door, and take them to her room. I guess some “motherly sixth-sense” would kick in and she would know when to come to my rescue. I remember feeling so discouraged, inadequate, and like a down-right poor excuse of a mother, because I couldn’t figure out why my children were crying. Me and mom had a little chat not long after those early days, and she said, “every cry has a story behind it, some chapters are quick and you find out right away, but then some you have to wait it out until chapter 40 before you figure it out. Either way, every cry has a story behind it.” I have no idea what made me recall that today, but that’s what brought out this devotional.

And the truth is, there are some people that we come into contact with on a daily basis (in our homes, churches, work, school, supermarket, laundromat, hair and nail salon etc…) that are “crying”. But unfortunately, we get so frustrated because we don’t know why they’re crying that we simply ignore the cry, or wait for someone else to come and pick them up and figure it out. I can’t even imagine the amount of people who have left our churches because they were “crying” and no one took the time and patience to figure out why. We were so busy being frustrated by the “noise” of their behavior, attitude, ways, and words, that we didn’t listen for the story behind the act of ‘crying’.

Problem is, we’re too busy reacting, instead of listening. Which brings to mind Ephesians 4, beginning with verse 29. He says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up, according to their NEEDS, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).

Let’s, as my custom, view this verse in a few translations, shall we?:

“Do not let unwholesome [foul, profane, worthless, vulgar] words ever come out of your mouth, but only such speech as is good for building up others, according to the NEED and the occasion, so that it will be a blessing to those who hear [you speak].” (AMP);

“Don’t let any foul words come out of your mouth. Only say what is helpful when it is NEEDED for building up the community so that it benefits those who hear what you say.” (CEB);

“When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people NEED—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you.” (ERV);

“Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is NEEDED. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.” (GWT);

“Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is NEEDED, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.” (GNT);

“Watch your talk! No bad words should be coming from your mouth. Say what is good. Your words should help others grow as Christians.” (NLV)

In other words, don’t say things that will tear a person down, only things that will build that person up! Why? Because you’re focusing on their NEEDS, not their DEEDS! The word “need” is defined as “something required because it is essential or very important; expressing necessity or obligation; circumstances in which a thing or course of action is required.” And despite what their deeds may have been, there were needs that they stemmed from (if only we would take the patience and time to figure them out).  And according to Scripture and the very definition of the word “need”, this is what God is requiring of us, as essential for them.

Listen: Whether that person is your child, your spouse, your parent, your friend, your coworker, or someone at church, they’re response is more about their need than their deed. And no matter what their response, your reaction is to meet their need! You are to love them enough to listen to their story until you can find the chapter their stuck in that needs and requires your help. Are you obligated to do that? Absolutely! “You are your brother/sisters keeper!” John 13:35, “By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.” (AMP) The Message Bible says it like this, “Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other.” (vss. 34-35 MSG). Then 1 John 4:20-21, declares, “If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.” (MSG)

And no matter how badly they’ve Acted, you have to love them enough to hear their Story, and be concerned enough to help them write a new Chapter! You can’t love God and not love people! God Himself calls you a liar!

Listen: If you knew their story, you’d understand that many have been made to feel worthless much of their life. So they make choices based on the fact that they’re viewed as trash by some (especially those closest to them). And that’s one of the hardest battles to be won, is helping a person get past their past, and to forget what they keep recalling. You have to love them Forward! Your love for your brothers/sisters needs to be progressive (which is defined as, ‘proceeding gradually or in stages; engaging in or constituting forward motion’)! They will never get to where they need to be if they remain stuck where they are. And sometimes that means we have to be their “pen” of inspiration. When they feel the horror story is how it ends, we need to step up to the “desk” and say “oh no it’s not! There’s another chapter in you and we’re going to write it out!” They need to know that their character doesn’t die here; this is not the final chapter; the story is not over!

No Matter How They ACT, You Are Responsible to Stay In CHARACTER! Never Act Out of Character!

Now, if we’re being honest here, we’ve all been in situations where we wanted to (and some of us did), treat other people the same way they treated us! After all, no one smiles at the person they held the door open for, and when they walk through they never parted their lips to say thank you. No one is happy about a person they’ve helped, that treats them harshly in return. But does that give you reason, justification, license or excuse for us to Act out of Character? Absolutely Not! Ephesians 4:26-27, “Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” (MSG); Then Matthew 18:21-22 shares, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, when someone won’t stop doing wrong to me, how many times must I forgive them? Seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, you must forgive them more than seven times. You must CONTINUE to forgive them even if they do wrong to you seventy-seven times.” (ERV); [By the way, that wonderful word “continue” is defined as “to persist in an activity or process; to remain in existence; to carry on with; to carry on traveling in the same direction.” Its Latin Origin “coninuare”, from “continuus” literally means “uninterrupted.” So no matter their response or reaction, you have to CONTINUE to forgive them, with no interruptions!]

1 Peter 3:9, “and never return evil for evil or insult for insult [avoid scolding, berating, and any kind of abuse], but on the contrary, give a blessing [pray for one another’s well-being, contentment, and protection]; for you have been called for this very purpose, that you might inherit a blessing [from God that brings well-being, happiness, and protection].” (AMP);

Romans 12:17-19, “Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” (MSG);

And My Personal Favorite: Matthew 5:38-42, “Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.” (MSG)

Are You Getting This?! Your Only Reaction to Their Response is Love!

You have to step in their shoes, after all, that’s what Intercessors do. They fill the gap, step in the middle, carry a load that’s killing somebody else! And truth is, maybe their story includes some awful hurt that has turned them hard, just so they won’t get hurt anymore. Maybe there’s some morally dark chapters in their past that can make them critical and legalistic today because they hate what they used to be. They may wound because they’ve been wounded. Remember: “Hurt People, Hurt People” Somewhere behind the way they act is a story of a perfectionist parent, trust lost because of abuse, the absence of a father’s love, abandonment, failure, tragedy and the like. So stop judging their story, intercede instead, and simply help them to write a new chapter!

Stop concerning yourself with what they’re drinking; what they’re smoking; how long they’ve been fornicating; how many tattoos and piercings they have; why the marriage ended; why they didn’t finish school; why they left that church; why they dress the way they do; or why do they have 5 kids with 3 baby daddies! Concern yourself more-so with helping them to write their next chapter, instead of being stuck re-reading their last one!

The Bible is clear, “…Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31 NIV) Which for many of us, that has been our response to their deeds. But instead, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as Christ in God forgave you.” (vs. 32 NIV) That’s how we’ll respond if we operate, trying to understand there are needs beneath those deeds; there’s a history behind those hang-ups.

One thing I can tell you from a lot of years of learning what’s really inside people – when a person is hardest to love, they need your love the most! And that’s when you ask Jesus to release His love through you because your love just isn’t enough. React to their bad attitude or their bad treatment, and you can be just another person who just wounds an already wounded person more. Respond with the mercy and the grace and the compassion you received from Jesus and you can be part of healing that wounded person. Everybody’s got a story, and you can help write a new chapter.

Remember the opening text: “…What’s the STORY behind these ruins?” (1 Kings 9:6-9 MSG) Everybody has a story behind their ruins! So don’t be so quick to respond and react! James 1:19, “Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving];” (AMP) If that be our reaction, maybe, just maybe, their response will be our other opening text: “I’m on the edge of losing it – the pain in my gut keeps burning. I’m ready to tell my STORY of failure…” (Psalm 38:17-20 MSG) No one wants to talk to someone that’s not listening. How about today be the day we stop lashing out at the way they act, and simply listen to their story?

Remember this: “…But that’s not the end of it. There’s MORE to this STORY.” (Daniel 11:27 MSG)

Likewise, there’s more to their story as well, and it will be a beautiful best-seller, if only you’ll listen and not judge their story, then let your response and reaction be, “Let Me Help You Write a New Chapter!”

“Everybody’s got a story to tell. The only problem is finding a person that will listen…and care.” (Author Unknown)

“Every single person on the planet has a story. Don’t judge people before you truly know them. The truth might surprise you.” (Author Unknown)

“Everyone has a story. It might or might not be a love story. It can be a story of dreams, friendship, hope, survival or even death. And every story is worth telling. But more than that, it’s worth living.” (Savi Sharma)

“Everyone has a story to tell. Everyone is a writer, some are written in books and some are confined to hearts.” (Savi Sharma)

“Before you judge my life, my past or my character, walk in my shoes. Walk the path I have traveled, live my sorrows, my doubts, my fears, my pain and my laughter. Remember, everyone has a story. When you’ve lived my life then you can judge me.” (Pinterest)

“Don’t judge people for the choices they make when you don’t know the options they had to choose from.” (Pinterest)

“Do not judge my story by the chapter you walked in on.” (Author Unknown)

People of God: “Don’t Judge Their Character, Before Hearing Their Story!”

Matthew 7:2, “For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.” (AMPC)

Galatians 6:1-5, “Live creatively, friends. If someone falls into sin, forgivingly restore him, saving your critical comments for yourself. You might be needing forgiveness before the day’s out. Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law. If you think you are too good for that, you are badly deceived. Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” (MSG)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWord

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“When God Speaks to Men”

Professor Sheringham is on the road a lot, so the phone in his hotel room is a very important tool, (especially when he’s in those areas when he doesn’t have a cellphone signal). But years ago, even before cell phones, (if you dare to believe there was such a time), it was even more frustrating for Professor Sheringham. One time in particular he shared with us his students. He was staying in this campus guest room provided by the school where he was lecturing. Now, he appreciated the room; he just didn’t appreciate the phone. The problem? He couldn’t call out, not even collect or with a credit card! You see, the school had programmed the phone so it blocked any outgoing calls, because he guessed they didn’t want to get stuck with long distance bills.

However, for him it was absolutely frustrating! Especially early in the morning or late at night when he wasn’t dressed and couldn’t easily get down to the public phone seven floors down in the “good old days.” Well, one morning they were in the middle of something that required daily communication with his office, and he literally prayed that someone from his team would call and deliver him from this one-way telephone prison. And God answered the prayer – they did call. Then they called the people that he needed to hear from. In essence, he could receive calls; he just couldn’t initiate them. So he was stuck being able to talk only when someone wanted to talk to him! I guess it was too bad if he wanted to talk to them!

From his experience he then taught our class from 1 Samuel 3:8-10. It was a time right at the beginning of Samuel’s life as he is a young man staying with the priest, Eli. And it says this, “God called again, “Samuel!” – the third time! Yet again Samuel got up and went to Eli, “Yes? I heard you call me. Here I am.” That’s when it dawned on Eli that God was calling the boy. So Eli directed Samuel, “Go back and lie down. If the voice calls again, say, ‘Speak, God. I’m your servant, READY TO LISTEN.” Samuel returned to his bed. Then God came and stood before him exactly as before, calling out, “Samuel! Samuel!” Samuel answered, “Speak. I’m your servant, READY TO LISTEN.” (MSG)

See, God wanted to talk to Samuel, but He had a little difficulty getting the call through. He had to dial three times after all. Likewise, God has some things He’d like to say to you about your future, your pain, your questions, the decisions you need to make, the struggle you’re going through. But maybe there’s just a one-way phone most of the time. Oh, you’re calling God whenever you feel like it (or feel you need to). You’re talking about whatever is on your mind. But maybe you’re not allowing much opportunity for God to whisper something quietly to your soul.

1 Kings 19:11-14, “Then he was told, “Go, stand on the mountain at attention before God. God will pass by.” A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but God wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but God wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire A GENTLE AND QUIET WHISPER. When Elijah HEARD the QUIET VOICE, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A QUIET VOICE asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?” Elijah said it again, “I’ve been working my heart out for God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, because the people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed your places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.” (MSG)

Elijah only heard the quiet whisper of  a voice because he was listening. Which means there will be times when you have to ignore the distractions of the “hurricane wind…shattered rocks…earthquake…and fire”! Sometimes hearing God means you will have to make the deliberate decision to block anyone, any thing and any place out that would distract you from Hearing Him! The Bible says, “…Elijah Heard the Quiet Voice…” Do you hear it too, or are you too busy being distracted by your own voice or that of others?

Remember: He wants prayer to be a dialogue, not a monologue.

The dangerous problem is that we unfortunately rewrite this verse to say, “Listen Lord. Your servant is speaking.” Oh, and make no mistake about it, He does. He listens. We initiate a call to God, we say what we want to say and hang up. But we miss so much when we don’t allow God to call us with important things that He wants to show us.

Jeremiah 33:2-3, “This is God’s Message…’Call to Me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” (MSG)

But unfortunate for us, we call God, tell Him what we want to, then hang up!

Imagine if we did this in other areas of our lives: For instance, what would happen if you called the fire department, told them there’s a fire, then hung up? What would happen if you called the police department, told them there’s a robbery, then hung up? How about your child calling you and telling you they’re in danger, then they hang up? None of these scenario’s would end very well. You’re on the phone with people who you’ve got to talk to AND listen to if help is to be reached!

But instead, we call God and say, “Lord, help me meet the mortgage this month; how am I going to pay tuition at these new rates; how am I supposed to put these 3 children through college when they’re stair-steps in age; what am I going to do when this last check runs out? Lord, my marriage is letting go of the last string it had to hold onto, what now? Lord, I went to the doctor for that, and now they say I’ve got this too, what’s going on? God, I give my full tithe, and yet my financial future is looking more and more empty. God, I can’t get this weight off; God I’m tired of being single; God when will we have a baby? God, will I ever get this promotion? God, when can I open the church, start the business, have peace of mind?!”

We talk to God only to tell Him to, “fix it God; heal it God; save it God; deliver it God; promote it God; protect it God; provide for it God; send him/her God; close that door God; open that door God; forgive me God; punish them God…” And our ‘to-do-list’ for God goes on and on and on!

But when do we take the deliberate, undisturbed time to listen to God?

Samuel said, “…Speak. I’m your servant, READY TO LISTEN.” (MSG) Are you just as READY TO LISTEN? The word ‘ready’ is defined as ‘prepared for an activity or situation; made suitable and available for immediate use; easily obtained; within reach; willing to do or having a desire for; quick; prompt; prepared mentally or physically for some experience or action’ So, I ask again, are you READY TO LISTEN? Have you entered into prayer prepared to listen to God? Are you within reach of God’s voice, or is His voice muffled by all the other voices vying for your attention? Do you even have a desire to hear God speak? Are you mentally, physically and spiritually prepared for an experience with God? Are you ready, quick and prompt, or are you hesitating, procrastinating, dragging, slothful, and lazy in your approach to God? Have you made yourself suitable and available for God’s immediate use when He talks to you and tells you what He wants you to do?

Listen to Samuel again: “The Lord then stood beside Samuel and called out as He had done before, “Samuel, Samuel!”  “I’M LISTENING,” Samuel answered. “WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?” (vs.10 CEV) Is that your response to God? Or do you end your prayer with, “God, here’s what I want YOU to do!” There is a difference you know?

Brothers, you give your ear to many people throughout the day: Your spouse; your children; your family; your friends; your coworkers; your bosses; your church family; the news; sports; even the latest gossip (believe it or not, but men gossip too)…but are you giving your ear to God? Does He have your undivided attention? Do you take time to hear His voice? Just imagine the great things God wants to say to you, but you won’t LISTEN. You have a one-way calling system…you talk to God, He listens to you, you hang up!

But what happens when you install a new, two-way calling system? What happens when you have a two-way phone system from earth to heaven and heaven to earth? Well let’s see what verse 11 has to say, God said to him, “See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears it tingle.” Let’s take a listen to a few translations:

“…Samuel, I am going to do something in Israel that will shock everyone who hears about it!” (CEV);

“…Listen carefully. I’m getting ready to do something in Israel that is going to shake everyone up and get their attention.” (MSG)

God is about to tell Samuel about something BIG He’s getting ready to do in Israel, and when it is heard, it will shock people, shake people and get everyone’s attention! And all Samuel has to do is LISTEN! Samuel is getting insider information because he’s attentive enough to LISTEN…are you? I mean, this is about to be some exciting news! Likewise, God wants to show you some amazing things, but you have to stop talking to hear Him tell you what they are! Samuel let’s God know, “I’m listening, I’m paying attention, speak Lord, talk to me, share with me the great things You’re about to do!” Have you positioned yourself in like manner?

LISTEN: When you pray about something, allow some silent time at the beginning and at the end. Allow a space where God could call you. You won’t always hear an audible voice like Samuel; that’s not needed so much today when God lives inside His children through the Holy Spirit. But He’ll speak to you as you meditate on a verse of Scripture. He’ll light up your situation suddenly with a personal application of those words or maybe as you’re praying. As for me, I tend to trust the ideas or the insights that come into my mind while I’m talking to God about an issue, when I’ve turned off everything else, not looking at my cell phone, not responding to texts, not listening to the radio, not watching TV, nothing else around, and I’m just listening to God solo – to let Him say something to my soul. I can trust pretty much what I hear then, and so can you.

As a man, you need to listen for what God tells you to do concerning your family, health, finances, schooling, church, personal salvation, and deliverance. You need to hear what He has to tell you about raising sons and daughters, about loving your own, one wife. You need to hear what He has to tell you about being effective in your church, your community or even as you rise on the corporate ladder. You need to hear what He has to tell you to tell another brother, as iron still sharpens iron. You have to hear what He has to tell you about leading and following; and spear-heading; working solo and a part of the team. You have to hear what God needs to tell you about your ministry, anointing, and gifts. You have to hear God’s instructions concerning your every assignment, the ones to take and the ones to leave. You have to hear God clearly say, ‘she’s the one!’ You have to hear God say, ‘save this; spend that; invest there.’

You will never be a man with an effective vision who has impaired hearing to God’s voice!

You need to hear God when He tells you, ‘sign that contract; get out of that contract; lay hands on that building; go to that dealership; that’s the school; that’s the job; go to this doctor; see that specialist; start now; stop now; wait now; not now.’

John 10:27, “…My sheep RECOGNIZE my voice. I know them, and they follow Me…” (MSG)

Do you recognize God’s voice? Do you know God’s voice? Do you follow God’s voice? The word ‘recognize’ is defined as, ‘to identify; to acknowledge the validity and legality of to show official appreciation of.” Its Latin Origin ‘recognoscere’, from ‘cognoscere’ literally means ‘to learn.’ You need to learn how to recognize God’s voice, and the best way to do that is to make it a daily habit of listening to it! For example, I’ve been with my husband over 20 years, married 19. That’s a lot of time to spend talking to and listening to this one person’s voice! Now, we both have family members, jobs and church responsibilities in leading people, so we both hear varying voices every day. However, we’ve spent so much time with one another in a personal, intimate, and focused manner, that even in the midst of a crowded, talkative bunch, we can recognize each other’s voices without having to turn around! But that took years, of talking, listening, and arguing to develop! It took time, so much time, that now we can have a full conversation in the middle of folks without saying a single word to each other! You see, when you invest time into the communication of your relationship, and yes, in your relationship with God as well, there’s a depth that grows from such nourishment. It develops level by level. You learn to become more familiar with the person and the voice, even with the things that are being communicated in a non-verbal manner. But you’ve got to invest in the communication if you want to reap the benefits from such an investment!

We spend a lot of time in prayer only to talk to God, but there’s much God wants to say to us as well, if only we’d listen. Jesus said, My sheep Recognize My Voice, they Know My voice, they Follow My voice. If you take the time to recognize, know and follow the voice of God, you’ll stop following your own voice as well as that of others. Truth is, many of us will listen to family and friends before we listen to the Father. This should not be so! Just think, your God, your Father, the one who has created all things, wants to talk to YOU! Now, if President Obama called you up and asked to speak with you, you’d be all ears! But God, who is more important wants to talk to you, and you have to check your schedule to see if you have time (unless of course you’re experiencing trouble)…

Brothers, communication with God has to become as vital to you as breathing. Not just talking to Him, but listening to Him. What does He want you to do? Where does He want you to go? Who does He want you to take? When are you supposed to go? How are you supposed to go? God desires to give you guidance and direction, but you have to listen first! Imagine if you listened to God the way you listen to your GPS when you’re trying to figure out where you’re going or where you are. You pay attention to every detail, you turn down the radio just in case there’s an unforeseen turn up ahead…but when God speaks, we have selective hearing!

Listen: I know the frustration of just receiving information without being able to send any, and so does God. If your heaven-link phone has only been calling out, why not try Samuel’s prayer every new day, “Speak Lord. Your servant is LISTENING.” It’s important that God receives calls from you; however, it’s much more important that you get those calls from God!

Brothers, you can’t pass on God’s Voice through God’s Word to the next generation of boys to men, if you don’t listen and receive it for yourself first. And truth is, there’s some young boys in sports and school, young men in the military, brothers in the neighborhood, at work, in church and even standing on the street corner that need you to hear God so they can hear God when you speak! There are men in the barbershop getting their hair cut right next to you, and he needs a word so bad from God that he doesn’t know what to do. What if you were praying and listening for God before you ever left the house. What if God would’ve revealed to you the word of encouragement that that man needed at just the right time. You could’ve literally been apart of a God team that turned that man’s entire world around for the better! What if you listened to God before you head to the mechanic, who knows what assignment God would issue to you while you’re there. What if you listened for God before going to work, who knows what word of life you could’ve spoken to that colleague that gets on your last nerves!

Men, God loves you and He listens to you. But if you love Him as much as you say you do, you will do likewise, listen! Why? Because listening to God keeps you from marrying the wrong woman; having kids at the wrong time; falling down every time a new temptation comes up; wasting money that you should be investing; attending the wrong school; applying for the wrong job; going to the wrong dealership; making the wrong friends; requesting a loan from the wrong bank; signing papers out of season; turning down the wrong block! Listening for God is your Privilege, your Protection and your Power! Don’t Discard It!

Your vision needs God’s voice; your family needs God’s voice; your ministry and church needs God’s voice; your business needs God’s voice; your children need God’s voice; your marriage needs God’s voice; your health needs God’s voice; your promotion needs God’s voice! Guidance, Direction and Wisdom all come from Listening to God’s voice, so are you listening?!

“Speak Lord. Your servant is LISTENING.”

“Prayer is not monologue, but dialogue; God’s voice is its most essential part. Listening to God’s voice is the secret of the assurance that He will listen to mine.” (Andy Murray)

“Prayer is not the answer. God is the answer. Prayer is the vehicle by which we reach God.” (Greg Laurie)

“When you pray be sure that you listen as well as talk. You have things you want to say to God, but He also has things He wants to say to you.” (Joyce Meyer)

“God want us to talk to Him as to a friend or father…authentically, reverently, personally, earnestly.” (Bill Hybels)

“There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.” (Simon Sinek)

“God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening, is the beginning of prayer.” (Mother Teresa)

“Not many were hearing from God. Not because God was not speaking. It was because the people were preoccupied with other things. We are very good at talking, but not so good at taking the time to wait on God’s presence and listen.” (Jeff Syverson)

“Prayer is not a ‘spare wheel’ that you pull out when in trouble. But it is a ‘steering wheel’ that directs the right path throughout.” (Daily Inspirational Quotes)

Proverbs 3:5-12, “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. LISTEN for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all…” (MSG)

Proverbs 12:15, “A fool thinks he needs no advice, but a wise man LISTENS…” (TLB);

Isaiah 30:21, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying, “This is the road! Now follow it.” (CEV);

Proverbs 28:9, “God has no use for the prayers of the people who won’t LISTEN to Him.” (MSG)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #ShareTheWord

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“Repent…While There’s Still Time!”

Revelation 2:21, “I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to turn away from her immorality” (NLT)       

If there’s anything we ought to be thankful and grateful for, it’s the fact that when God tells you to repent, He gives you TIME and GRACE to do it! However, if you don’t, there is a price called ‘Consequences’ that you’ll have to pay. The word “Consequence” is defined as: “a result or effect.” Its Latin Origin “Consequentia”, from “Consequi” literally means “to follow closely.” In other words, you can make whatever choice you like, just remember that your choice is never alone, consequences are always in its company…following closely at that! 

Listen to the text: “I gave her time to repent, but she does not want to turn away from her immorality. “Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering…[she] will suffer greatly unless [she] repents and turns away from her evil deeds…” (Revelation 2:21-22 NLT). This Scripture is an arrow to the heart of that stubborn sin you want to keep holding on to. Remember: The Scripture says, “I gave her time to repent, BUT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO TURN AWAY…” In other words, she has a way of escape provided for her, and yet she deliberately refuses to take it!  

1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word—He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].” (AMP) God’s Responsibility is to Provide You With a Way of Escape; However, Your Responsibility is to Pray for the Discernment to See it and the Wisdom to Take it! 

Please keep in mind, Sin is Always a Choice, and like it or not, so are the Consequences! Because if you didn’t choose, you wouldn’t suffer the consequences of a choice you did not make! Which is why personal accountability and responsibility need to always be vital in the life and walk and decision making of every person! And even more dangerous, if you choose to continue in sin, you risk reaching a place where your ability to say “No” is so weakened, you become enslaved to what you’ve chosen, even when you’re full aware of the consequences!  

Romans 1:28-32, “Since they didn’t bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable windbags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. AND IT’S NOT AS IF THEY DON’T KNOW BETTER. THEY KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THEY’RE SPITTING IN GOD’S FACE. AND THEY DON’T CARE—WORSE, THEY HAND OUT PRIZES TO THOSE WHO DO THE WORST THINGS BEST!” (MSG) 

The Word of God still holds true: “Jesus answered them, I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Whoever commits and practices sin is the slave of sin.” (John 8:34 AMP). Note, as a believer, you are to master sin, not become a slave of sin! Genesis 4:7, “If you do well [believing Me and doing what is acceptable and pleasing to Me], will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well [but ignore My instruction], sin crouches at your door; its desire is for you [to overpower you], BUT YOU MUST MASTER IT.” (AMP). Which is why we should obey the admonishment of Romans 6:18, “And having been set free from sin, you have become the servants of righteousness (of conformity to the divine will in thought, purpose, and action).” (AMP). In other words, you will either be a slave to sin or a servant of righteousness, however, you cannot under any terms be both! So, in the words of Joshua, “And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, CHOOSE FOR YOURSELVES THIS DAY WHOM YOU WILL SERVE, whether the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell; BUT AS FOR ME AND MY HOUSE, WE WILL SERVE THE LORD.” (Joshua 24:15 AMPC).  

So, what will your CHOICE be today? Are you going to repent while you still have time? Or are you going to wait until the clock stops and so does your opportunity for redemption? 

Remember: As long as you prefer Dealing with your sins, you won’t seek Deliverance from them!  

Now, the Greek word for ‘Repentance’ is ‘Metanoia’; and it means ‘to change, to turn around and go the other way.’ Look at it like this: Can you imagine driving along a path and on both sides of the road you see sign after sign saying: “Cliff Ahead”; “Turn Around”; “Stop”; “Dead End”; “Keep Out”; “High Voltage”; “Danger Going Forward”; “Wrong Way”; “Flammable”; “Danger of Death”; “Warning”; “No Trespassing”; “High Risk”; “Caution”; “Toxic Hazard”; “Do Not Enter”; “Asbestos”; “Chemical Storage”; “Radioactive”; “Demolition in Progress”; “Fall Hazard”; “Keep Driving and You Will Die!”; “Countless Others Have Died On This Same Path!” Now, can you honestly tell me even if you’re in the car listening to your favorite songs, with your loved ones with you, driving down your favorite road, enjoying beautiful scenery and a beautiful day, that you would still keep driving, Even After Reading the Signs Posted On Your Path?! NO! So, Why Are You Continuing Down the Unrepentant Road You’re Traveling On? You Do Realize It Leads to Death Don’t You?! “There’s a way that looks harmless enough; look again – IT LEADS STRAIGHT TO HELL” (Proverbs 16:25 MSG). Still Want to Remain On This Journey? If Not, Repent While There’s Still Time, Change, Turn Around, And Go the Other Way! 

Psalm 119:9-16, “How can a young person live a clean life? By carefully reading the MAP OF YOUR WORD. I’m single-minded in pursuit of You; DON’T LET ME MISS THE ROAD SIGNS YOU’VE POSTED. I’ve banked your promises in the vault of my heart so I won’t sin myself bankrupt. Be blessed, God; train me in Your ways of wise living. I’ll transfer to my lips all the counsel that comes from Your mouth; I delight far more in what You tell me about living than in gathering a pile of riches. I ponder every morsel of wisdom from You, I attentively watch how You’ve done it. I relish everything You’ve told me of life, I won’t forget a word of it.” (MSG). 

One counselor writes, “I kept trying NOT to commit a particular sin, praying about it over and over, only to do it again. Finally, I got mad at God and cried out, ‘Why don’t you help me with this?’ He answered, ‘Because you aren’t disgusted with it yet. You’re still enjoying it.’ I protested, ‘I do not. I hate it.’ God replied, ‘If you hated it enough you’d quit it.’ In that moment I realized that I enjoyed the rewards of sin more than the rewards of obedience. I also discovered something else; I couldn’t hate sin enough by the power of my own fleshly will, to come to true repentance. I stood helpless in corruption. Repentance is a gift of love which comes from God. And until that love is allowed to work in us, touching and exposing those carefully guarded areas, we cannot change.”  

Does that sound a little like your prayers? “Lord, stop me. I don’t want to do this anymore. I hate this. I want to change. Etc…” Well, if truth be told, unlike Moses, we don’t want to stop sinning because we are, “…enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin.” (Hebrews 11:24-25 TLB). Now that Scripture in full declares, “It was by faith that Moses, when he grew up, refused to be treated as the grandson of the king, but CHOSE to share ill-treatment with God’s people instead of enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin.” (TLB). Remember, Your Sin is Your Choice and Your Consequences Follow Closely Behind!  Moses had a choice to make and so do we! So, you have to stop with the, “Lord, if you want to help me You can take this away from me” prayers! And take more accountability and responsibility for the deliberate choices you’ve been making to “…enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin.” It’s time to stop attempting to justify sin, make excuses for it, reason about it, or label it with pretty unassuming names! Today Simply Repent While You Still Have Time, or Suffer Greatly Says the Word of God! And last I checked the Bible still states: “…So will the Words that come out of My mouth not come back empty-handed. They’ll do the work I sent them to do, they’ll complete the assignment I gave them…” (Isaiah 55:11 MSG). We love to shout that God keeps His Word…well, make sure you keep that in mind while you’re “…enjoying the fleeting pleasures of sin.” Because if you refuse to repent while you still have time, this will be the Word that He keeps concerning you: “Therefore, I will throw her on a bed of suffering…[she] will suffer greatly…” So, are you still shouting over the fact that He keeps His Word?! 

Furthermore, the Word of God declares: “The day of the Lord’s return will surprise us like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a loud noise, and the heat will melt the whole universe. Then the earth and everything on it will be seen for what they are. Everything will be destroyed. So you should serve and honor God by the way you live” (2 Peter 3:10-11 CEV) The Message Bible, says it like this: “But when the Day of God’s Judgment does come, it will be unannounced, like a thief…Since everything here today might well be gone tomorrow, do you see how essential it is to live a holy life?” (MSG). And that word “Essential” is defined as “Absolutely Necessary.” Yes, it is Absolutely Necessary, for us to Repent While We Still Have Time and Live Holy Lives Because: “…the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven’s angels, not even the Son. Only the Father knows.” (Matthew 24:36 MSG).              

Believe it or not, but we need to be constantly reminded of Christ’s return. Why? Because critics have denied, rationalized and cast doubt! In fact, the Bible warns “First off, you need to know that in the last days, mockers are going to have a heyday. Reducing everything to the level of their puny feelings, they’ll mock, “So what’s happened to the promise of His Coming? Our ancestors are dead and buried, and everything’s going on just as it has from the first day of creation. Nothing’s changed.” (2 Peter 3:4 MSG). And that’s exactly how the world is living, but worse than that, that’s how the CHURCH is living! And why is that so dangerous for us? Because the Bible declares: “That He might present the church to Himself in glorious splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such things [that she might be holy and faultless]” (Ephesians 5:27 AMP). Did you catch that? He’s coming back for us, the believer, the church. However, He’s not coming to take us back just any kind of way! We are to be “…WITHOUT SPOT OR WRINKLE…” The New Life Version says it like this: “Christ did this so the church might stand before Him in shining-greatness. There is to be NO SIN OF ANY KIND IN IT. IT IS TO BE HOLY AND WITHOUT BLAME.” (NLV). Be honest now, can the church today really say this is our testimony? And since we know the answer to that question is a resounding ‘NO’, don’t you think now is a really good time to repent and return, especially since we don’t even have the privilege of knowing God’s time-table?! 

With that said, let’s be mindful of a few Scriptures:

1 Peter 4:17-19, “IT’S JUDGMENT TIME FOR GOD’S OWN FAMILY. WE’RE FIRST IN LINE. If it starts with us, think what it’s going to be like for those who refuse God’s Message! If good people barely make it, What’s in store for the bad? So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust Him. He knows what He’s doing, and He’ll keep on doing it.” (MSG)

Matthew 7:13-14, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad and easy to travel is the path that leads the way to destruction and eternal loss, and there are many who enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow and difficult to travel is the path that leads the way to [everlasting] life, and there are few who find it.” (AMP)

Hebrews 12:14, “Strive to live in peace with everybody and pursue that consecration and holiness without which no one will [ever] see the Lord.” (AMPC)

Luke 12:47, “And that servant who knew his master’s will, and yet did not get ready or act in accord with his will, will be beaten with many lashes [of the whip].” (AMP)

James 4:17, “So any person who knows what is right to do but does not do it, to him it is sin.” (AMP)

Matthew 24:39-44, “The Son of Man’s Arrival will be like that: Two men will be working in the field—one will be taken, one left behind; two women will be grinding at the mill—one will be taken, one left behind. So stay awake, alert. You have no idea what day your Master will show up. But you do know this: You know that if the homeowner had known what time of night the burglar would arrive, he would have been there with his dogs to prevent the break-in. Be vigilant just like that. You have no idea when the Son of Man is going to show up.” (MSG)

1 Peter 5:8-11, “Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.” (MSG) 

Matthew 25:1-13, “God’s kingdom is like ten young virgins who took oil lamps and went out to greet the bridegroom. Five were silly and five were smart. The silly virgins took lamps, but no extra oil. The smart virgins took jars of oil to feed their lamps. The bridegroom didn’t show up when they expected him, and they all fell asleep. “In the middle of the night someone yelled out, ‘He’s here! The bride-groom’s here! Go out and greet him!’ “The ten virgins got up and got their lamps ready. The silly virgins said to the smart ones, ‘Our lamps are going out; lend us some of your oil.’ “They answered, ‘There might not be enough to go around; go buy your own.’ “They did, but while they were out buying oil, the bridegroom arrived. When everyone who was there to greet him had gone into the wedding feast, the door was locked. “Much later, the other virgins, the silly ones, showed up and knocked on the door, saying, ‘Master, we’re here. Let us in.’ “He answered, ‘Do I know you? I don’t think I know you.’ “So stay alert. You have no idea when he might arrive.” (MSG)

Are you now beginning to see just how vitally important it is to restore your relationship with the Lord?! People of God, no matter how bad you’ve messed up, no matter how far you’ve fallen down, repent, and be restored, today, while you still have time! Remember: Even in an hourglass, it does finally reach a point where the last grain of sand falls, and there’s no more time left. Therefore, remember 2 Corinthians 6:2, “For He says, ‘At the acceptable time (the time of grace) I listened to you, and I helped you on the day of salvation.’ Behold, now is ‘the acceptable time,’ behold, now is ‘the day of salvation.” (AMP) Embrace this time of grace or miss the day of visitation! Luke 19:41-44, “When the city came into view, he wept over it. “If you had only recognized this day, and everything that was good for you! BUT NOW IT’S TOO LATE. In the days ahead your enemies are going to bring up their heavy artillery and surround you, pressing in from every side. They’ll smash you and your babies on the pavement. Not one stone will be left intact. ALL THIS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T RECOGNIZE AND WELCOME GOD’S PERSONAL VISIT.” (MSG) 

Listen: Despite what the naysayers and mockers would have you believe, Christ’s Coming is not Speculation! In Fact, the New Testament refers to it over 300 Times! I Guess That Makes it a Pretty Big Deal Don’t You Think?! Even Peter says, “The Lord isn’t slow about keeping his promises, as some people think he is. In fact, God is patient, because he wants everyone to turn from sin and no one to be lost. The day of the Lord’s return will surprise us like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a loud noise, and the heat will melt the whole universe. Then the earth and everything on it will be seen for what they are.  Everything will be destroyed. So you should serve and honor God by the way you live. You should look forward to the day when God judges everyone, and you should try to make it come soon. On that day the heavens will be destroyed by fire, and everything else will melt in the heat. But God has promised us a new heaven and a new earth, where justice will rule. We are really looking forward to that! My friends, while you are waiting, you should make certain that the Lord finds you pure, spotless, and living at peace.” (2 Peter 3:9-14 CEV). That’s our challenge today!

Then, Paul adds, “For the Lord himself will come down from heaven with a commanding shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God. First, the believers who have died will rise from their graves. Then, together with them, we who are still alive and remain on the earth will be caught up in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Then we will be with the Lord forever.” (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 NLT).  

So, are you “looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus.” (Titus 2:13 NAS)? Are you living as though it’s near, by staying grounded in the Word? Are you diligent at home and at work, grabbing every opportunity to sprinkle salt and shed light? (Matthew 5:13-16, “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.” (MSG)? If you are being salt and light, don’t stop, if you aren’t, get started!  

One Christian leader issues this warning, “If you’re not ready to fly, get your ticket fast. As long as they’re available, they’re free. But don’t wait. About the time you make up your mind the whole thing could’ve happened, leaving you looking back instead of up. What good is a ticket if the event is over?”               

In a Nutshell: Repent…While There’s Still Time! 

Revelation 3:19, “Those whom I [dearly and tenderly] love, I rebuke and discipline [showing them their faults and instructing them]; so be enthusiastic and repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, your sinful behavior—seek God’s will].” (AMP)

Acts 3:19, “So repent [change your inner self—your old way of thinking, regret past sins] and return [to God—seek His purpose for your life], so that your sins may be wiped away [blotted out, completely erased], so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord [restoring you like a cool wind on a hot day];” (AMP) 

Acts 2:38, “And Peter said to them, “Repent [change your old way of thinking, turn from your sinful ways, accept and follow Jesus as the Messiah] and be baptized, each of you, in the name of Jesus Christ because of the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” (AMP) 

Matthew 3:8, “So produce fruit that is consistent with repentance [demonstrating new behavior that proves a change of heart, and a conscious decision to turn away from sin];” (AMP) 

2 Chronicles 7:14, “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 

“Repent is perhaps the most hopeful and encouraging word in the Christian vocabulary.” (Jeffrey R. Holland) 

“Repentance may be old-fashioned, but it is not outdated so long as there is sin.” (J.C. Macaulay) 

“People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent.” (Bob Dylan) 

“Repentance is like antiseptic. You pour antiseptic onto a wound and, at first, it stings. Then it heals.” (Timothy Keller) 

“Repentance is real, and it works.” (Allen D. Haynie) 

“True repentance hates the sin, and not merely the penalty; and it hates the sin most of all because it has discovered and felt God’s love.” (W.M. Taylor) 

“There is no repentance in the grave.” (J.C. Ryle) 

“Genuine repentance must bear the seal of a corrected life.” (Lewis F. Korns) 

“There is no eraser for your mistakes, but there is repentance.” 

“Repentance is a process and not something that happens at one particular moment. It requires consistency.” (Francisco J. Vinas) 

“To repent of sin is as great a mark of grace as not to sin.” (Thomas Brooks) 

“No one can begin a new life, unless he repent of the old.” (Saint Augustine) 

“Regret is not a proactive feeling. It is situated in disappointment, sorrow, even remorse. It merely wishes things were different without an act to cause a difference. However, repentance is different. Repentance is an admission of, hatred of, and turning away from sin, before God.” (Monica Johnson) 

“Repentance is not only turning from sin but running to God for forgiveness.” (Tim Conway) 

“Sin and Hell are Married Unless Repentance Proclaims the Divorce.” (Charles H. Spurgeon) 

“Just as chalk can be removed from a blackboard, with sincere repentance the effects of our transgression can be erased through the atonement of Jesus Christ.” (Boyd K. Packer) 

“If it were not for repentance and forgiveness, I would become discouraged and discontinue my labors.” (J. Golden Kimball) 

“Repentance is a characteristic of the whole life, not the action of a single moment.” (Sinclair Ferguson) 

“Only through repentance and faith in Christ can anyone be saved. No religious activity will be sufficient, only true faith in Jesus Christ alone.” (Ravi Zacharias) 

“God has promised forgiveness to your repentance, but He has not promised tomorrow to your procrastination.” (Augustine) 

“A Christian isn’t a man who never goes wrong, but a man who is enabled to repent.” (C.S. Lewis) 

“Sometimes the journey will seem long – after all, it is the journey toward eternal life. But it can be a joyous journey if we pursue it with faith in Jesus Christ and hope in His atonement. I testify that the moment we set foot on the path of repentance, we invite the Savior’s redeeming power into our lives.” (Stephen W. Owen) 

“Whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness.” (D. Todd Christofferson) 

“Repentance is not a punishment, it is a privilege.” (M. Joseph Brough) 

“Repentance is the true turning of our life to God, a turning that arises from a pure and earnest fear of Him; and it consists in the mortification of the flesh and the renewing of the spirit.” (John Calvin)

“The sun may rise tomorrow, but you may not. Repent today.” 

“Repentance, as we know, is basically not moaning and remorse, but turning and change.” (J.I. Packer) 

“The important thing to remember is repentance is the prelude to revival. The Church must first repent.” (J. Edwin Orr) 

“There’s a difference between remorse and repentance. Remorse is being sorry for being caught. Repentance is being sorry enough to stop.” (Greg Laurie) 

“Satan does not want you to repent at all. But if he fails in his attempt, the next best plan is to delay your repentance. He tries to tell you that it will be easier later on. That’s a lie. The longer things go on, the harder it gets to repent. Don’t wait. Do it today!” 

“The depth of our repentance will determine the depth of our revival.” (Frank Bartleman)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged #BeRestored
Feel free to also join us at: http://www.selfcarewithdrshermaine.blogspot.com Today’s Lesson: “How to Stop Wasting Time?”           

 

 

“Don’t Save the Flowers for the Funeral!”

1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage and comfort one another and build up one another, just as you are doing.” (AMP)

If it’s one day I remember vividly it is the day it aired that our beloved Princess Diana had died. Yet, when Princess Diana died, I still don’t believe anyone could have ever predicted the massive public outpouring of love and grief that came from the British people in the week following her death. Maybe you remember that sea of flowers that enveloped the front of Buckingham Palace and Diana’s personal residence at Kensington Palace. You couldn’t get anywhere near the gates! The flowers seemed to stretch out endlessly! Someone who had been close to the Princess said, “Diana had no idea she was loved like this.” That’s sad but not unique!

I’ve never been to a funeral anywhere near the scale of Princess Diana’s. But I have been to a lot of funerals. And there are lots of flowers there. Not just the kind with petals, but I mean verbal flowers! You hear people talking about how much that person meant to them, about their strong points, about special qualities or experiences that touched the life of the one who was giving the tribute.

However, it would be much more affirming to that departed person if only they could’ve received those verbal flowers in life. If only they could, in essence, smell all the flowers that are suddenly coming their way. I can’t help but wonder -and even consider for myself how many of us have told him/her these wonderful things while they could still appreciate them?

One of my devotional Scriptures for today was 1 Thessalonians 5:11. It’s simple, but it’s strong medicine. “…encourage and comfort one another and build up one another.” That needs to be shared in every home; every work place; every classroom; every church. “…encourage and comfort one another and build up one another.” That’s one of those commands from God that would be really great to display wouldn’t it?

However, too often, we are very communicative about what we don’t like that a person is doing. The criticisms, the put-downs, the sarcasm, the complaining, oh they come pouring out really quickly. So most of us have a good idea of what’s wrong with us, because we have a lot of help finding that out from others. But you literally have to train your mind and train your mouth to look for and to express what you do like about that person; what strengths God built into them; what they do right. Things you should thank them for, what they’ve done that’s helped you or ministered to you. Instead of waiting to hear the words, “in profound sorrow…” In essence, let’s stop saving the flowers for the funeral!

People are by no means perfect, NONE OF US ARE! We are all flawed, broken, damaged, and imperfect. We get things wrong, we think, speak, feel and act wrong. But that’s not all the time! Everyone has something absolutely wonderful about them. How great would it be to highlight that, just once, while they’re still alive to appreciate it?

At funerals, and home-going services, I’m often floored by the great words people speak, the experiences they share, and the emotions they express. But I can never shake the question from my mind, “I wonder if they did all that while the person was still living?”

Think about it: How many people in your life help you, support you, encourage you, provide for you, protect you, love you, laugh with you? How many people in your life are you able to call and talk to, to share, to lean on, to depend and rely on? How many people in your life have been there for you during the ups, downs, mean in between times; the good, the bad, the ugly, the insane? Now think, do they know you appreciate it and them? Have you told them? If not, what are waiting for? If so, why not tell them again?

As for me, I’ve always been the type of person who’s not all that crazy about receiving gifts, words and cards on valentine’s day, my birthday, mother’s day, Christmas etc…No, I’m a bit more mushy! I love flowers (just because it’s Tuesday); I love hearing I love (in the laundromat); I love dressing up and going out to dinner (at Applebee’s); I love an unexpected gift (for absolutely no reason); I love cards (that aren’t attached to any holiday, and especially cards that are written from the person, not the perfectly worded Hallmark tradition). I love hearing ‘thank you’, and when I ask ‘for what?’ the response is simple, ‘for everything.’ I love random hugs that have nothing to do with ‘turn to your neighbor and embrace them.’ I guess in essence, I love those imperfect, untimely gestures of affection and appreciation. Not those attached to a time of year, a birth, holiday or worse a death. Think about it, the last time someone showed you a sign of love and appreciation, that was completely unexpected and not related to anything in particular, how great did that make you feel? Now, wouldn’t it be awesome to do that for someone else, so they can join in on such a great feeling?

I wonder what would Princess Diana’s response have been, if she simply woke up one morning and looked out her window and saw that massive parade of flowers, for no other reason than ‘we love you and want you to smell your flowers while you still can?’

Well, truth is, you don’t have to do anything quite that elaborate, but there are people in your life that need to hear your love, see your love, feel your love, and even smell your love. And why not express it NOW, when you get to SEE the joy it brings them, while they are alive!

Why wait until the funeral to bring beautiful flowers that they can’t see, smell or appreciate? Why wait until the funeral to tell the whole sanctuary and all of social media how wonderful a mother she is; how great a father he is; how beautiful your children are; how loving your church family is; how compassionate your leaders are, how phenomenal your wife is; how loving your husband is. Why wait to tell them they preached a great sermon, taught an inspiring lesson, prayed a powerful prayer, cooked a delicious meal? Why wait to tell him how handsome he is or how beautiful she is? Why wait to say good job, well done, you did great, I’m proud of you, I knew you could do it? Why wait to buy flowers; a card; dinner; go to the movies; out dancing; sight-seeing; skating; skiing; painting? Why wait to call, leave a voicemail, send a text, email or letter? Why wait to pay them a visit, buy a silly gift in their favorite color or cartoon that will be sentimental, thoughtful, loved and appreciated? Why wait? Because one day, you’ll wait too long and miss a moment that becomes only a memory.

The people in your personal world are people in desperate need of regular encouragement. So might I ask you a personal question: How well are you doing with that?

You know, I love what the word “encourage” means. It’s defined as “to give support, confidence, or hope to; to help or stimulate the development of.” Its French Origin “encourager”, from “corage”, literally means “courage.” And “courage” is defined as “the ability to do something that frightens one; strength in the face of pain or grief.” It’s Old French Origin “corage”, from Latin “cor” literally means “heart.” And that’s exactly what you give to people when you encourage them, you literally give them your heart, which is literally to give them your love! Your heart is the very core of you, how special it is to share with someone the very center of you? Can you imagine how special someone would feel to know they have your heart? Well, that’s what you give people when you encourage them, your heart, your love. And something that tender, meaningful, and special should never be held hostage until the words “in profound sorrow…” are spoken.

When you encourage someone, you are literally putting courage into them. You ever see the face of a child who is terrified at something, only to have them look towards the voice saying “go ahead, you can do it, I’m right here, I won’t let it hurt you, I’m not going anywhere, go for it, I believe in you.” With that thought, there’s a commercial that I love. It’s a mom holding onto her son’s bicycle, and he turns and looks at her and says, “don’t let go!” She responds, “I won’t!” (But she does anyway…lol) However, he doesn’t fall, but neither does he turn around to see if she was still holding on. Makes me wonder, if just hearing her say she wouldn’t let go, was enough? Just those few words of confidence and encouragement, and off he went peddling his heart out with a smile!

How many people in your life need to hear you speak words of confidence and encouragement like that to them?

Let’s be honest now, truth is, we all have a terrible tendency of getting familiar, comfortable, used to and even too busy for. And that can be a disaster to any relationship/friendship. It’s good ground for sowing bad seeds of complacency, taking advantage of and taking for granted. You almost get into a place of expectancy: (‘that’s what they always do, that’s what they should always do’), even without your thanks and appreciation. But what happens when the husband who rubs your feet at night doesn’t wake up the next morning? What happens when the wife who keeps the household afloat, closes her eyes for the last time? What happens when the children don’t make it home from school? What happens when the fire and flood destroy all the things you never took time to notice and appreciate before? What happens when the friend moves, and the friendship moves on too? What happens when mom doesn’t return from her usual doctor’s visit? What happens when the bus jumps the curb where dad was standing? What happens when grandpa now has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t remember you? What happens when grandma is bound to her wheelchair and can no longer get to all the family functions? What happens when you promised over the last 6 months that you would call your favorite aunt, only to hear the sad news that she’s passed on? What happens when the uncle who took a million pictures at your every function has now lost his sight?

You see, in the blink of an eye, anything can happen! So, why assume and take for granted that you will always have tomorrow, when there’s nothing further from the truth?

Job 14:1-2, “Man who is born of woman lives only a short time and is full of trouble.  He grows up and dries like a flower. He leaves like a shadow and does not stay.” (NLV);

Psalm 90:12, “Teach us to use wisely all the time we have.” (CEV);

James 4:14, “Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen in your life tomorrow. [What is secure in your life?] You are merely a vapor [like a puff of smoke or a wisp of steam from a cooking pot] that is visible for a little while and then vanishes [into thin air].” (AMP)

Yes, that’s just how life is! Short, full of trouble, grows, dries and leaves. Nothing and no one is secure, for we don’t know the least thing about tomorrow (if it ever comes around again). Which is why we should use wisely all the time we have.

Would I consider this a gloomy message? Absolutely not! It’s a challenge, it’s an empowerment, it’s an opportunity, it’s a message to rethink and appreciate those you ‘say’ you love. It’s motivation to celebrate life (and all those who make up your life). It’s to shift you from the temporary to the eternal. It’s to make you change for the better. Sadly enough, we as believers, live in this world as if we’re never to leave it. And that my friend is a dangerous way to live. Our goal isn’t a house on the earth, but a mansion in the sky. Heaven is our hope and home. We are mere travelers, visitors, aliens, guests, sojourners temporarily walking through this earth. The goal isn’t to build a life you can’t leave, but to build up loved ones, who know how much you really love them (no matter who leaves here first). I’ve always said, I want to take care of my parents in such a way, that when they leave this earth, I can laugh more than cry because I did right by them. And I pray you will live the same way. Encourage others, appreciate them, celebrate them, thank them, build them up, after all, it’s what we are commanded to do (not suggested)!

And truth is, some of us come from a background where there wasn’t much praise, there wasn’t much encouragement, so it’s hard for us to give what we never got. But you of all people should know then how much it hurts not to get it. So, today, ask the Lord to give you eyes to see the positive in the people around you and to give you the words to tell them what you see (while they can still hear your words, apply them, appreciate them, and become better because of them).

When you praise someone, thank someone and compliment that person, when you tell them the good things you see in them, you are doing what the Bible calls “building them up.” What’s the alternative? Tearing them down. However they treat you, your job is to be like Jesus and to give them the gift of encouragement. Some of the difficult people in your world may be difficult only because they’ve had so little encouragement.

Whatever nice things you might say at a person’s funeral, why not decide Today to say them Now, to their Face? A pile of flowers after they’re gone won’t do a thing for them. But your flowers now could make a big difference if you give the flowers to them when they can still enjoy them.

The person you’ve been saying for the longest “I’m going to call her, visit him, go out to eat with them”….GO!!! Stop hesitating, stop procrastinating, stop making excuses, stop assuming tomorrow is guaranteed on your to-do-list, because it’s not, not for any of us!

Don’t Save Anymore Flowers; Don’t Wait For Anymore Holidays, Events or Special Occasions! Don’t Save the Best China For Once a Year! Don’t Assume They Know How You Feel About Them and What They Really Mean to You! Today, Express It, Show It, Say It, Share It!

I’m sure Princess Diana knew she was loved, but certainly not to the degree that was expressed…when it was too late for her to see it, hear it, feel it, or smell it!

So, I’m here as your little reminder to enjoy life and to enjoy your loved ones (expressively, verbally and if you’re anything like me, in the silliest ways possible!) Don’t hide your love, release it, show it, TODAY!

In closing, my children think I go a bit overboard on this one! Because my daughters are 28 and 25 and I still kiss them, hug them, play in their hair, send them silly text messages, cook their favorite foods, tell them I love them, buy them silly stuff, and even wait up for them to get home. Because I never want them to wonder about my love, care and appreciation for them in my life. As for my husband, he can’t eat beef or pork, so when I cook dinner (which is almost every night), even if I cook pork or beef for myself, I still cook a separate meal for him. Why? Because even the smallest of gestures convey love and appreciation for the people in your life that you ‘say’ you love. And sometimes that will require you to do a little more than you really feel like doing on somedays. However, when he praises my cooking ability, and even goes so far as to take pictures of his dinner and keep them stored in his phone in a “my wife’s dinner” file, something about that just makes me smile and feel appreciated, valued and loved. You see, it doesn’t have to be anything elaborate! Most often people just need to hear “I love you, you’re important to me, I value you, I missed you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, can we start over, can I help you with that?” Or maybe just a post it on the fridge as you’re leaving the house before your spouse or children that says, “I love you, enjoy a great, safe day!” It doesn’t take much to do something simple, yet heartfelt to convey to your loved ones that you do in fact love them. You can pull out her chair; you can iron his slacks; you can open the door for her; you can pour a glass of juice to go with his dinner; you can bring a stuffed animal home for the kids (and not because it’s their birthday or holiday, but simply because you want them to See that you think about them throughout the day. And believe it or not, but kids need that kind of reassurance of your love too!) You can pick up dinner on the way home or make surprise reservations or whip up some franks and beans (if you’re really not skilled in the kitchen). The whole point is for your loved ones to see, hear, feel, taste and smell your verbal expression of flowers! Why wait for “in profound sorrow”, when you can show love “just because it’s Saturday”?

Family and Friends, enjoy a beautiful day and please know my heart of thanks to you for your friendship, following, support and encouragement are dear to my heart. You don’t have to do what you do, but you do…lol! And so today is my day to practice my own preaching…I LOVE YOU, I THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE YOU, I CELEBRATE YOU, I LOOK FORWARD TO ALL THE GREAT THINGS GOD IS GOING TO DO THROUGH YOU, I BELIEVE IN YOU! Please receive this as my verbal flowers to you this day!

“We’re here to give you your flowers while you live.” (Barbara Knox)

“Don’t come to my funeral to show how much you cared about me. Show how much you care about me now…while I’m alive.” (Daily Inspirational Quotes)

“Appreciation is learning to give flowers while people are still living.” (Joel Osteen)

“Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude.” (Anne Frank)

“Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine to the soul.” (Luther Burbank)

“Appreciate the people in your life now, you have no way of knowing how long they’ll be here. Show your love now. Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, they can be gone in an instant.” (LoveAndSayings)

“Appreciate the people who fill the spaces in your life or one day, when you least expect it, those spaces will be empty.” (LoveAndSayings)

Much Love, Dr. Shermaine #EnjoyTheRead #BeInspired #BeEncouraged #BeEmpowered #BeChallenged

Feel free to also join us at: www.selfcarewithdrshermaine.blogspot.com Today’s Lesson: “20 Holiday Health Mistakes to Avoid!”